13 Silly Biblical Puns Really are Fun with the Bible

Though we’re always having fun with the Bible on Mondays, we rarely ever enjoy some good old fashioned jokes – Bible style. This week, let’s break from our somewhat serious Bible lessons – even though they’re fun – and chuckle at these goofy biblical puns.
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan: the banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. H e rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Q. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan…)

PS. Did you know it’s a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it’s in the Bible. It says . . . ‘He-brews’

Which was your favorite? Got any good ones? Stick them in the comments!

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2 Responses

  1. Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

    10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

    9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

    8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

    7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor’s, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

    6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put he garbage on the curb.

    5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

    4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

    3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

    2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

    And finally, the Number 1 reason why God created Eve . .

    1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, “I can do better than that.”

  2. Shortest man in the Bible – peter he slept on his watch

    Baseball – in the big inning

    Little man – ne high mi a

    Most flexible substance in the bible – Skin. elijah tied his ass to a tree and then walked a mile

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