Wanted: Action-Packed but Something’s Wanting

Boy was that a lot of blood. Yep, good job people – way to give us a lot of blood. Was it entertaining blood and entertaining action? Yes, fortunately, it was.

How was the plot? Well, when a guild of weavers suddenly becomes the world’s most powerful band of assassins, shaping world affairs according to a giant magical loom that spins a secret textilic language guided by the hand of – yep, you guessed it – fate, you have to wonder who in Hollywood decided not to ask for a few minutes of crafty rewriting. But, hey, Morgan Freeman, Angelina Jolie (and no, you don’t see her topless – just the top of her ass-crack), and some no-name kid give us a reasonable show.

Well, honestly, I don’t know why the main character was who he was. He was a decent actor (though why he got on my ass at the end I’m not sure), but I don’t think he fit the part. I got him for the beginning but I just never bought him as the action-driving super-dude he was supposed to become. And this was the case for the rest of the movie. I never really got sucked into it: the plot, the characters or any of it really. I wanted to be sucked in and am very forthcoming when it comes to allowing myself to get into a movie, but this just never brought me there.

Overall, I only feel comfortable giving it 5 Chocolate Salty Balls, an average score for an average movie. Have you seen it? What did you think? Did Angelina Jolie look anorexic to you? Get your own copy of Wanted

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4 Responses

  1. You think James McAvoy is a no-name kid? Really??
    He was in Children of Dune, Jay.

    Just kidding, but really…I mean he was in Chronicles of Narnia, Atonement and Last King of Scotland just recently. Isn’t he a pretty big name right now?

  2. Yeah, you’re right. I stand corrected. He’s been in a few things worth watching, particularly Last King of Scotland which I really loved, but I guess it was that I believed it in that movie, because he was never bad-ass there – just caught up in what was happening to him and always pretty meek. He’s meek, what can I say? But you’re right that he deserves a little more credit as a ‘registered’ actor than I gave him.

  3. Dude, I agree totally with craigslist above. Atonement, dude. Atonement.

    Also, this movie was awesome. I typically hate hero/dystopia movies, but this was freaking awesome. And anorexic? How about phat. Come on.

    That’s a freebie.

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