Hysterical Motivational Posters That Should Have You Belly-Laughing (No Pressure, of course)

Here we go again:

Which was your favorite? Got any good ones you’d like me to post?

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Cult Mayhem is Upon Us During a Meteor Shower in South Park Episode 308, “Two Guys Naked in a Hottub”

This episode is all about Waco, Texas, and the massacre that occurred there when the government interfered with David Koresh and the Branch Davidians. This cult was terrified of the apocalypse and when government agencies laid seige to their complex, they thought that the world was ending.

Another cult called the Heaven’s Gate Cult, thought that when a meteor shower arrived, they would be beamed up and go along for the ride (sort of). They also killed themselves.

This episode combines the lunacy of those two cults with the government not knowing how to deal with them when Mr. Mackey throws a party for the meteor shower and the ATF thinks that everyone inside will off themselves.

Also, Gerald and Randy watch each other jerk off in the hottub, and Randy freaks out that this makes him gay. This conversation takes place and makes him feel better:

Mr. Mackey: Well it’s not like you’re the only guy who’s watched another guy masturbate.  I’ve done it.

Ned: Me too.

Guy: Yeah, I’ve done it a few times.  Then everybody admits to having done it.

Mr. M.: Do you mean it.  I’m not gay.

Jimbo: Well maybe a little.  But we’re all a little gay.

What did you think of this episode? Have you ever been part of a cult?

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Fun with the Bible: The Theme of the Second Son in Genesis and How God Does What He Wants

The Nifty Theme of Anti-Primogeniture

One interesting theme to note in the book of Genesis, the first book of the Bible, is how it’s all about God changing the way that the natural order plays out. One primary example of the way this happens is who the inheritance goes to in the line of the Israelites ancestors. In each instance, it is the older son that tradition and convention and ‘nature’ tell us should get the inheritance – known as primogeniture – but the second son who actually receives it because that is God’s will.

Abraham’s inheritance should actually go to Ishmael as his first born male son. However, it is actually Isaac who receives Abraham’s inheritance. Similarly, Isaac had two twin sons, Esau, who came out first, and Jacob, who came out second. Esau was meant to get his father’s blessing and inheritance, but it was Jacob who received it.

Why Can’t I Have Babies?

This theme presents itself in the case of the matriarchs as well. In each case, Sarah, Rebecca and Rachel are all barren and unable to provide children for their husbands, but God reverses the natural order and allows them all to have children because he will affect the way this line goes.

Applying This to the Torah at Large

This notion sits behind the entire experience of the Israelites as they are given the land of Cana’an by God, and is the point that the Five Books of Moses are making (in the story part, not the laws). God, at creation, has partitioned the land of the earth accordingly, but because it was His land, He was entitled to change His mind later on – something He did – and give certain parts to other people. The Torah is the story of him opting to give an already alloted piece of land to the descendants of Abraham.

In a cynical sense, the Torah is, in essence, an Israelite justification for why they had the right to dispossess the local people and take the land for themselves and live there. Their book says, because God told us it was ours when He changed his mind about the people here! The Torah is an old-ass piece of political propaganda, if you look at it this way.

Disclaimers

A. the Torah is A WHOLE lot more than this.

B. this is a cynical view though something to consider

C. Though the attitude may have modern ramifications this understanding is not meant to be applied – nor should it be applied – to the modern circumstances in the state of Israel. That would be foolish and lack consideration for myriad other factors like factual historical circumstances and other purposes of the Torah.

Wrap Up

What do you think of these ideas? What do you find noteworthy around these stories in the book of Genesis?

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Skuzzlebutt Saves the Boys in “Volcano,” South Park Episode 103

When the town learns that a volcano is about to explode and lava is about to flow straight into town destroying everyone and everything, they try to learn volcano safety and then to dig a trench to divert the lava elsewhere. Good thinking.

One person lands himself on the news, and holds up a sign that says, John 3:16. Though it isn’t on the board, this verse reads, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

That’s a fascinating verse for this man to hold up before he dies in a volcano, no? South Park, already in the third episode, employs the Bible and does so in a meaningful way. Very interesting, if you ask me.

Skuzzlebutt, an imaginary creature who serves an important purpose in this episode, connects nicely to the idea in the Imaginationland trilogy that makes us think about how imaginary things are still real.

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Zen Talk: A Buddhist Story about Learning to Let Things Go

Two Buddhist monks were walking along a path when they came to a shallow, muddy river. A woman in a beautiful dress waited there, not wishing to cross for fear of ruining her beautiful dress. One of the monks lifted her onto his shoulders – something that he was absolutely not supposed to do – and carried her to the other side, where he set her down (dress intact) and proceeded along the path with his fellow monk. After a few hours, the second monk, unable to continue keeping quiet about what he understood as a violation of the code by which they lived, asked his companion, “Why did you pick that woman up and carry her across the river?” The first monk replied, “Are you still carrying her? I put her down hours ago.”

I love this story. It illustrates an absolutely wonderful life lesson that we should all take to heart. This is about letting things go: breathing in deeply and exhaling, letting out the negative thoughts, feelings and emotions and not thinking about them anymore.

I’m not going to drone on about the power of positive thinking or the importance of a Buddhist technique known as mindfulness or the psychological practice known as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I am going to state simply that our thoughts, whether positive or negative, greatly affect the way we feel and think, and when we dwell on the negative and that which makes us upset or tense or angry, we are only harming ourselves.

When a moment has passed, it is in the past and that is where it should stay. Sometimes wrongs must be righted (when you insult someone, that’s in the past but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t apologize for it later), but for the most part, dwelling on things that can’t be changed only clouds our minds and thoughts, preventing us from living in and enjoying the present and moving forward to a better future.

Let it go. Move on.

This story is a wonderful illustration of this important life lesson and I think about it all the time whenever I find myself dwelling on the unchangeable.

What sorts of things do you dwell on unnecessarily? What do you think of this story? Do you have a technique for learning to let things go?

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Cartman is Ordained by God in “Something You Can Do with Your Finger,” South Park Episode 409

This episode is wonderful for a few reasons. On a religious note, we can’t help but appreciate Cartman’s attitude and approach towards God. Not only does he believe that God has ordained him for what he is to do (start a boy band) but he challenges God, even demonstrating his fright after doing so (he calls God a pussy and then insists he was just kidding).

This episode plays upon a common theme in our thinking: that we think God wants what we do and that he is responsible for our successes and failures. Now, I’m not challenging the notion that there’s anything wrong with thinking that God has a hand in our lives. Lots of people think that and who would I be to tell them that they’re wrong?

However, this notion does bring the fact to light that it hardly makes sense for God to have chosen us for every activity that we want to do – or that he then holds us up as a test. It reminds one an awful lot of Genesis chapter 22, in which God commands Abraham to sacrifice his beloved son, Isaac, even though he has just given Isaac to him at the most unlikely time in Abraham and his wife, Sarah’s, lives.

Do you like this episode? Why or why not? Do you think God has a hand in everything we do?

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Stan Dances His Heart Out in “You Got F’d in the A” South Park Episode 805

You Got Served was a terribly stupid movie that did not need making. However, the dance moves were pretty kick ass. It reminds me a lot of Step Up and Step Up II. Pretty frickin’ stupid but great dance moves. As someone who can’t dance to save his life, quality dancing impresses me tremendously.

In this episode of South Park, Stan and his friends get served (they are danced at aggressively) and can’t dance back. When Randy Marsh can’t stand the idea of his son getting served, he shows him how to dance and makes Stan stand up for himself. Then we get a dance off with Lil’ Kim as our hostess. Hooray!

Did you like this episode? Can you dance? What kind of dancing? Have you ever been served?

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Russians Try to Ban South Park for its Extremism and Negative Comments about Religion

The Situation

This is an amazing news story for a couple of reasons, and I can’t help but share it with you. Usually, Religion in the News day is a day that I branch off from my usual South Parkian rantings and ravings in order to discuss other relevant things that are happening around the world related to religion.

However, this week I get to take you all the way around the world – to Moscow no less – to discuss the show that’s near and dear to my heart, South Park! which a bunch of pissed off Christians (The Russian Union of Christians of Evangelical Faith, to be more specific) are trying to get banned.

WHAT!!?? Conservative Christians trying to ruin a good thing for other people because they can’t handle it themselves. Reminds me a lot of sex, booze and the Bible.

A statement from the group’s leader was that, “South Park is just one of many cartoons that needs to be banned from open broadcast…as it insults the feelings of religious believers and incites religious and national hatred.” The group, ironically, also called the show “extremist.”

So why are these accusations outrageous?

Why They Don’t Get It

South Park is a satirical comedy, meaning in part that its scenarios are constructed on outrageous situations and plotlines because only by being so extreme can the show shock us into understanding the point that it’s making. Subtlety is not the name of the game. However, extreme situations do not mean extremism. One of the show’s primary messages is that extremism of all kinds should be eschewed at all costs. That means that these Russian viewers totally missed the point of the show because they were too preoccupied being angry about what they didn’t understand!

As far as insulting the feelings of religious believers and inciting hatred, I’ll grant that the first one is true, but the only reason that someone needs to be particularly offended and have their feelings hurt regarding South Park‘s portrayal of certain religious people is if said believers are engaging in the unsavory actions being criticized. In which case, screw them! They should take a hint. They’re not supposed to like it – they’re supposed to reflect on it. It’s satire! What’s more, the show isn’t spreading hatred (except of Scientology) – the show is trying to explain that hatred is not the answer, another point entirely lost on these viewers.

My Message to These Morons

You know what I say to these people: you’re idiots. No, not because you don’t like South Park. You’re entitled to your opinion: a lot of people don’t like South Park, and South Park would be the first to defend your right to do as you please and not watch or like it. You’re idiots because you try to impose your views, likes and dislikes on other people. You’re small-minded, intolerant, and a perfect characterization of attempted religious dominance. You claimed you were out to protect your children from this bad cartoon, but you’re just scared that they’ll be exposed to views other than the one’s you want to cram down their throats. So, stop trying to ruin the fun for the rest of us (or other Russians, as the case may be) and keep your bs to yourself.

Whew. Where did that come from? Usually I never have strong opinions about anything. That was so unlike me…glad I got that off my chest.  🙂

What do you think about these issues?

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Around the World Pic: Temple Entrance at Naxos…But Where’s the Rest of It?

This is me at a huge temple entrance on the Greek Island of Naxos, which is part of the Cyclades island chain. It’s a huge and beautiful island, most of which I motorcycled around. The beaches are great and the people are chill.

This temple entrance is right at the island’s main port and harbor and can be seen as you come towards the island. No one knows where the rest of the temple is or if this entrance is all that was constructed before something happened that halted the building of the rest of the temple.

It’s so beautiful in the Greek islands and if you can get there I recommend it.

Have you ever been to Naxos? To the Greek islands? What did you think? Where did you go?

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Oprah’s Vagina Goes Crazy in “A Million Little Fibers,” South Park Episode 1005

This episode is insanely weird. It’s not about South Park or the children there at all, but about Towelie trying to make something of himself. He writes a book, pretending to be a person, and when people find out that he’s not a person after he goes on Oprah, they want to kill him.

The weirder and simultaneous plotline is about Oprah’s vagina, starved for attention, taking her hostage and threatening to off himself. With a talking vagina and asshole as the episode’s main characters – and both of which have terrible Cockney accents – you will wonder what the hell is going on and how much more bizarre it can get.

Did you like this episode? Tell me your thoughts about Oprah’s lady-parts.

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