13 Silly Biblical Puns Really are Fun with the Bible

Though we’re always having fun with the Bible on Mondays, we rarely ever enjoy some good old fashioned jokes – Bible style. This week, let’s break from our somewhat serious Bible lessons – even though they’re fun – and chuckle at these goofy biblical puns.
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan: the banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. H e rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Q. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan…)

PS. Did you know it’s a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it’s in the Bible. It says . . . ‘He-brews’

Which was your favorite? Got any good ones? Stick them in the comments!

Get a FREE Bonus Chapter from The Zen of South Park.

Enjoy more Fun with the Bible posts.

An Evil World is Opened and a Good Cartman Comes Through in South Park Episode 215, “Spooky Fish”

This awesome episode of South Park is brought to you in Spooky Vision, which means that Barbra Streisand’s face is in each corner of your screen throughout the entire terrifying Halloween episode.

When Stan’s Aunt Flo visits and brings Stan a goldfish, he quickly realize that it’s evil and murdering people. Bizarre as well is that Cartman starts being really awesome and nice, until the boys understand that there are two Cartmans: one evil, who they know, and one good, who seems to be from an evil parallel universe. This evil parallel universe is coming from the Ancient Indian Burial Ground pet store, where the pets are evil and going around killing people.

I mentioned this was a Halloween episode, right? Well it’s a good one. Enjoy!

Do you like this episode? What’s your favorite part?

Get a FREE Bonus Chapter from The Zen of South Park.

Read about other South Park episodes.