Hilarious Motivational Posters about Stingrays, the War on Drugs and Darth Vader


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Cartman Tries to Use Stem Cell Research to Save Kenny in South Park Episode 513, “Kenny Dies”

When Kenny is diagnosed with a terminal disease, Stan doesn’t know how to handle it. Cartman reacts by pursuing some cell research alternatives and Stan goes and talks to Chef.

There conversation goes a little something like this:

Chef: Stan, sometimes God takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about himself. He is a very vengeful God, Stan. He’s all pissed off about something we did thousands of years ago. He just can’t get over it, so he doesn’t care who he takes. Children, puppies, it don’t matter to him, so long as it makes us sad. Do you understand.

Stan: But then, why does God give us anything to start with?

Chef: Well, look at it this way: if you want to make a baby cry, first you give it a lollipop. Then you take it away. If you never give it a lollipop to begin with, then it would have nothin’ to cry about. That’s like God, who gives us life and love and help just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry, so he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, it’s our tears, Stan, that give God his great power.

Is that how you imagine God? Would you like your own Shakey’s Pizza?

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