Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha and the Super Best Friends Defeat David Blaine and His Cult in South Park Episode 504, “Super Best Friends”

Beyond the shadow of a doubt, this is one of my favorite South Park episodes – perhaps my single favorite.

When David Blaine starts forming a cult following of Blainetologists, the boys join up, convinced that they are actually going to magic camp. Concerned at the ridiculousness of it all, Stan defects, though Kyle and Cartman stay. The cult starts seeking tax exempt status from the government, potentially making it a bona fide religion, and when it is denied this status, David Blaine sends his followers to Washington DC to commit mass suicide.

Stan, having gone to Jesus to warn him about this cult danger, is taken by Jesus to the Hall of the Super Best Friends, where he meets a league of religious leaders who believe in fighting for justice and the power of good over evil. The league includes Mohammed, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Krishna, Joseph Smith and Seaman. Stan learns that even though their followers fight and squabble for little or no reason, the leaders themselves are all friends – well, not just friends, but Super Best Friends!

What a fantastic message, unparalleled in the history of South Park message importance.

Working together, the Super Best Friends are eventually able to defeat David Blaine and prevent everyone else from committing suicide.

I’ll refrain from droning on and on about the awesomeness of what this episode is imparting about the legitimacy of world religions or the unhealthy fervency of cults and their often dissembling leaders. I’ll also refrain from droning on about how Blainetology is really meant to represent Scientology and how awful Trey Parker and Matt Stone find that religion. But if you’d like to discuss the matter further, share your own two cents or ask any questions, I’d be delighted to go on.

What did you think about this episode?

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An Open Letter to Sarah Palin about Her Fundamentalist Christian Beliefs

Before you is a letter from someone I know and respect whose work is all about helping fundamentalist Christians who have chosen to leave their abusive and delusional religions do so in a safe and psychologically sound way. As the author of this letter has written, “Marlene Winell is a Bay Area psychologist who specializes in recovery from fundamentalist religion. She is author of Leaving the Fold:  A guide for former fundamentalists and others leaving their religion. She is the daughter of Assemblies of God missionaries. A longer article about Sarah Palin’s religion is on Dr. Winell’s website:  http://www.marlenewinell.net.”

Please feel free to leave any comments at the bottom of this letter and reproduce the letter in its entirety elsewhere on the internet (so long as you provide Dr. Winell as the author). If you would like to read an interview that I once conducted with Dr. Winell, please click HERE.

An open letter to Sarah Palin, from Marlene Winell, Ph.D.

Dear Sarah,

As a former fundamentalist, I’d like to call you on what you are doing.

This is not about disrespecting your private beliefs.  But you have a huge conflict of interest here by running for office and you can’t have it both ways (see Jesus’ words in John 2:15).

You have not been honest about the most important thing about you:  the fact that you are a born-again, literal Bible-believing, fundamentalist Christian.   Voters need to know you are not merely a “Christian” – a follower of Christ’s teachings.

Most people who have never been entrenched in the subculture of fundamentalist Christianity may not understand what this really means, but I do. Like you, I was raised in the Assemblies of God and I was a zealous part of the Jesus Movement.  Like you, my life was consumed with seeking God’s will for my life and awaiting the imminent return of Jesus.  It’s clear to me that you want to do the Lord’s will; you’ve said and done things like a true believer would. You are on a mission from God. If that is not true, then I challenge you to deny it.

Former fundamentalists like me know that your worldview is so encompassing, authoritarian, and powerful that it defines who you think you are, the way you view the world, history, other people, the future, and your place in the world.  It defines you far more than hockey mom, wife, woman, hunter, governor, or VP candidate.

You believe that every bit of the Bible is God’s perfect word.  You have a supernatural view of reality where Satan is a real entity and where good and evil beings are engaged in “spiritual warfare” (Ephesians 6:12).   Like Queen Esther, you believe that God has “called” and “anointed” you to lead America.  This is why you have accepted blessing for office through the “laying on of hands” and prayer to protect you from witchcraft.

So what does this mean for governing?  What could Americans expect with you at the helm?

You cannot affirm basic human decency or capability, because according to your dogma, we are sinful, weak, and dependant on God. And so, your decisions would not be based on expert advice or even your own reasoning, but on your gut-level, intuitive interpretation of God’s will.

This would allow you to do anything and claim you were led by God.

Your thinking necessarily is black or white.  People and policies are either good or bad.  After all, Jesus said, “He who is not with me is against me” (Matt. 12:30).  Under your leadership, diplomacy and cultural nuance would be less important than not blinking.  In a spiritual war, you don’t negotiate with the devil.

Regarding social policy, as a believer in individual salvation, you would emphasize individual morality and responsibility, not a community approach with structural solutions.  You would be judgmental and controlling of personal choices regarding sex, reproduction, and library books instead of addressing global warming, torture, poverty, and war.  Your belief in eternal hell-fire, your deference to a literal Bible despite its cruelties and vengeful god, and your indoctrination to disbelieve your own compassionate instincts, are likely to leave you numb at your moral core.  You might recall the verse, “If a man will not work he shall not eat” (2 Thess. 3:10).  However, faith-based initiatives would be okay because they would use caring to evangelize.

How about science?  As it has in your governorship, your interpretation of the Bible would trump scientific scholarship and findings.  You would deny the human role in global warming because God is in control.  More importantly, you would not make the environment a priority because you do not expect the earth to last.

International affairs?  Since your subculture has identified the establishment of Israel in 1948 as the beginning of the end, you would see war, epidemics, climate change, and natural disasters, all as hopeful signs of Jesus’ return.  You would be a staunch supporter of Israel and deeply suspicious of countries like Russia identified with the antichrist in the end times literature.  (You have publicly said that you expect Jesus to return in your lifetime and that it guides you every day.)

The Christian fundamentalism that has shaped your thinking teaches that working for peace is unbiblical and wrong because peace is not humanly possible without the return of Jesus (1 Thess. 5:2,3).  Conflict, even outright war is inevitable, for Jesus came not to bring peace but a sword (Matt: 10:34-37).  Like millions of fundamentalist Christians, you may actually find joy in global crises because these things portend His return (Luke 21:28).

But all of this certainty and fantasy in today’s complex world is dangerous, Sarah.  There was a time when all of humanity thought the world was flat.  Today, the stakes for such massive error are much higher.

So we want to know, Sarah, Warrior Princess for God —  How dare you presume to take responsibility for our country and our planet when you, in your own mind, do not consider this home?   I mean home for the long haul, not just until your rescue arrives from space.  How dare you look forward to Christ’s return, leaving your public office empty like a scene from the movie, Left Behind?

What if you are completely wrong and you wreak havoc instead with your policies?  If you deny global warming, brand people and countries “evil,” support war, and neglect global issues, you can create the apocalypse you are expecting.  And as it gets worse and worse, and you look up for redemption, you just may not see it.  What then?  In that moment, you and all who have shared your delusion may have the most horrifying realization imaginable.   And it will be too late.  Too late to avoid destruction and too late to apologize to all the people who tried to turn the tide and needed you on board.

And you, John McCain, how dare you endanger all of us for the sake of your politics?  How dare you choose a partner who is all symbol and no substance, preying on the fears of millions of Americans?   Shame on both of you.

Leave this beautiful, fragile earth to us, the unbelievers in your fantasy.  It’s the only heaven we have and you have no right to make it a hell.

Sincerely,
Marlene

Marlene Winell, Ph.D.
October 21, 2008

Press Release – October 21, 2008
Contact:  mwinell@gmail.com

If you would like to read an interview that I once conducted with Dr. Winell, please click HERE.

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Enjoy some Fun with the Bible posts.

“The Biggest Douche in the Universe” Knocks John Edwards and Being a Phony

I really love this episode, primarily for its central message. A friend of mine once argued with me that this episode didn’t have very much to do with religion. Believing that it did, however, I was relentless about the connection between John Edwards and cult leadership.

Why? Because John Edwards acts like a charismatic cult leader. He fakes knowledge about unknowable truths, goes to great lengths to convince others of his powers and then tries to take money from them by selling them on his lies. Of course, many charismatic cult leaders do not know that they are telling lies and thoroughly believe what they are saying, but for Edwards, this isn’t the case. What’s more, Stan knows it and resolves to stop the biggest douche in the universe from destroying Kyle’s life and messing with others’.

Stan explains that by lying about things that no one can know – life’s ‘big’ questions – Edwards is literally slowing down the progress of humanity. His conversations with Edwards are delightful and poignant. Telling lies, even if it’s to give people hope, literally slows down the progress of humanity – and especially if it’s to make a quick buck – is despicable behavior. John Edwards is the biggest douche in the universe, as any trip to his real website will verify.

To read interviews with ex-cult members whose leaders were not charismatics but who truly did believe what they were saying, click HERE for Grace Lyerly and HERE for Tifany.

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Religion (or cults) in the News: Anonymous Takes on Scientology in Global Protest

South Park hates Scientology. I hate Scientology. As we are told, “It’s a big, fat, global scam.” Scientology is not a religion, despite the insanely shady way that it acquired tax-exempt status. It’s a cult that takes as much money as possible from its adherents. Episodes 912 and 1001 detail these issues and flesh them out in amazing ways; episode 504, Super Best Friends, is also about the fight against Scientology.

Apparently, South Park and I aren’t the only ones that think Scientology is an uncontrollable oozing of bullshit topped with a dollop of evil. An online group known as Anonymous, whose website can be found HERE, has decided to take on the cult with protests and online bashing. They wear masks and dress in costumes and never use their real names.

Normally, I would consider these tactics cowardly. However, considering the tactics of Scientology, which include harassment, reckless endangerment, stalking and other unsavory techniques, I don’t blame the group at all. As they say, if you have no identity then Scientology’s own tactics become useless.

Other opponents of Scientology include defectors of the religion – a rare breed – who now feel increasingly comfortable coming forward with the support of Anonymous and a man named Tommy Gorman, a former Scientologist whose wife was repeatedly raped by an old man in the cult who threatened her life if she came forward. Together, Gorman, his wife and Anonymous (whose tactics don’t always mesh since Gorman prefers Scientology’s more blatant harassment to casual protest) are trying to take down Scientology.

They want members to think about their beliefs and research their organization more thoroughly to learn about its dark past and horrible present. Today just so happens to be a global protest staged by Anonymous against Scientology and though I can’t be there to help, I’d just like to tell them good luck.

Click HERE to read about 912, HERE to read about 1001 and HERE to read about the death of Isaac Hayes, Scientologist and voice of Chef.

“Trapped in the Closet,” is South Park’s Big Shot at Scientology

Episode 912 is infamous. In fact, it couldn’t even be aired in the U.K. because of its content. It’s also the episode that resulted in Isaac Hayes, the voice of Chef, quitting the show.

The episode itself lampoons Scientology by knocking its methodology, allegedly scientific basis, and status as a big, fat, global scam. It also lambasts the various celebrities that the so-called religion claims as a foundation for its legitimacy, including Tom Cruise (whose alleged homosexual proclivities give the episode its title and caused him to flip his shit just around the release of Mission Impossible 3 – which for the record was a bad-ass movie), and John Travolta.

I entirely agree with South Park‘s sentiments about this wretched attempt at a religion, and appreciate that Parker and Stone stepped into Scientology’s own line of fire when they made this episode. In The Zen of South Park I compare the show’s portrayal of Mormonism and Scientology in order to show how two religions that are totally invented (and in quite an obvious way) are not evaluated similarly.

Are you a Scientologist? Do I have it all wrong? Would you like to come on my blog and do a guest interview?

What do you think of Scientology? Do you know any Scientologists? Have you ever known anyone who converted to Scientology? Did that person change into someone you don’t know any more?

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Interview with Ex-cult Member, Tifany

I’d like to introduce everyone to Tifany Lee. Tifany is currently a musician preparing to record her third album. You can check out the first two at her MySpace page or her website tifanylee.com and look forward to the third. She is also the editor of Heroine Magazine, an excellent publication that she is bringing in part to her new blog at tifanylee.wordpress.com. Tifany’s fascinating experiences in a cult make her this week’s guest blogger. I hope that you enjoy what she has to share with us and take the opportunity to ask her questions about whatever you’d like. Without further ado…

What’s the name of the cult you joined?
Trob (The Realization of Being)

How old were you when you joined?
19

Why did you join?
I was a freshman in college at University of Washington freaking out about what I was going to do with my life. I had made some questionable decisions and my romances had failed miserably. My sister was having issues of her own – my mother had taken her to a medical doctor and a shrink to no avail. I told her about the mother of my best friend who I had known since middle school and a strange school that she ran. I suggested she try that as a last resort. When I came home for the summer a month later, my sister was transformed. She was completely over the crisis, but more than that, she was happy. And she had never been happy her whole life. She was always kind of mopey. But now she was confident and friendly and I was sold immediately. I started the work and became a more focused student than my sister ever was; she would touch in from time to time after that.

What did the cult offer you that your life wasn’t giving you?
Meaning, purpose.

Did the cult fulfill its promises?
Yes, for a while.

How long were you in the cult and why did you leave?
I was there for 11 years, till I was 31. Then, the founder had a stroke and her right-hand woman – the president of the school – began to make accusations about the founder. There was a fight for power and it left me sick to my stomach. It was a positive thinking cult with a dash of scare-you-with-the-devil kind of stuff and she started to accuse the founder of being manipulative. Actually, evil. She told us that we had been a cult all along. This infuriated me. I had defended the school to everyone in my life for not being a cult. It took me a month to sneak out because I had so many responsibilities at the school, but when I finally did, a mass exodus occurred. I had been kind of the star of the school. I was going to make the school famous when I became famous – that’s what they told me and believed. I read cult recovery books that say that members rarely get out. People escape if one of three things happen: an authority figure dies or gets sick, there is a power struggle, and something else that I forgot because it didn’t pertain to me. I recognized the cult tactics on every page: public humiliation to break you, build you back up with their ideals. It’s kind of like building a robot. I think our cult was a mild version – we weren’t physically sequestered from society we were only encouraged to have relationships that didn’t interfere with the school. It was all hidden behind a veil of love and support. That’s how it was all done – with love.

Do you still feel that certain things are missing in your life that the cult claimed it would have given you?
It was a miserable failure. I have spent the last years repairing the rift with my family who, though they never threw me out of the family or anything like that, thought I would never leave the cult – ever. But I did find my music there. I’m not sure if I would’ve ever written a song if I wasn’t in the mindset of being free to live any dream I wanted. And the president worked tirelessly to make me a better performer and made me take risks that, while they were for the good of the cult only, I marvel at now. I wrote, produced and starred in the biggest fundraisers for the school – these improv musicals that we ran at 7 Stages, 14th street playhouse, the woodruff arts center. we would rent them out and run ads on the radio and in the Atlanta Journal and Constitution and pack the house. So, I have a strange gratitude. My struggle with my work now is that everything I did back then was steeped in the teachings and now I struggle with what I believe in.

How many people were in the cult? Was it local, national?
It was based in Atlanta with international students – my sister is in Brazil until she quit several years before I did, there were a few Hong Kong students, French, people scattered across the States, but for the most part it was Atlanta. There were about 500 peripheral students, and 40 hardcore, of which I was one. It was a fast growing organization several years before I arrived – they were renting out the civic center for events with messages of positive thinking and had about 2000 students. Until the president/my best friend’s mom became a leader and introduced reasons why people were not getting what they want. The founder said “you are a precious adorable angel” and deserve to have whatever you want. The President introduced psychology with the Devil as to why people didn’t materialize things.

Did the cult had a particular leader? Was this person particularly charismatic?
They were the sweetest people I had ever met.

Did the cult have weird doctrines and teachings?
Pretty standard stuff for a cult – we approve if you follow us and you are evil if you disagree. The bulk of the work was all the positive thinking stuff that Oprah is covering lately. I guess you could call it the re-packaged brand of bullshit that all religion has been peddling since the beginning of time.

Were there any doctrines about end-times?
My best friend (who was also the resident reincarnation of Satan because she always spoke her mind) took the revelations class where they studied revelations in the new testament but she didn’t understand much and it caused her anxiety about dying.

Do you think that the people who began the cult did so out of conviction or to manipulate others?
Absolutely not. And I still feel that the founder is sweet and true. I think that either the president got drunk on her power over other people’s lives or she went crazy. or maybe she was crazy. She believes everything to this day and touts herself as a life coach on the internet, riding on other people’s success. One of her students – the Hong Kong one – made millions of dollars over the years so the president gets the credit.

Did you have to pay to be in the cult or give up anything like contact with friends and family?

You had to pay for privates (one on one sessions – the most coveted and expensive way to learn), the group classes. There was the 7 emotional attachments that you had to let go to be free and then you could move on to the advance classes when J or L got the word from God. We all could talk to God but we all trusted J and L more when they listened. And you were expected to tithe, of course. I bartered most of the time I was there – I helped out in the office. My duties as teacher (I taught the children and teen classes) and producer were volunteer.

Are you a religious person? How so?
I have never been a religious person. I was baptized Presbyterian because my Ma liked the idea of predestination. But my parents aren’t religious either (though my Ma is falling into a primitive Baptist cult now).

Do you believe in God?
I did while I was in the cult, very much so. Before and after that, not so much. It was comforting when I believed that he was there. But my belief evaporated. It materialized and evaporated almost on its own.

Are you a spiritual person? How so?
I have been searching since adolescence. I explored my Cherokee background and learned about the Native American way of life – my 2nd cousin is a medicine woman and named me. I got into new age stuff after that – crystals, tarot, drugs have been a spiritual journey for me.

What else can you share with us about the experience of being a cult?
When I got out of the cult I saw how much everything is a cult. Everything we choose to identify with shapes our thinking. This war seems absurd to me because it is just cults fighting cults. But I do know the power of faith and what lengths a person can be manipulated to – there is no limit. The most hope I see in the present is that the person who wrote the manifesto for Al Qaeda has renounced his belief that violence is the answer – literally the guy who wrote the book. I forget his name damnit. When I read that I knew that Al Qaeda’s time is limited. It will be destroyed from within; maybe that’s the only way.

What advice would you offer others about being in a cult?
Think for yourself.

What did you think about South Park‘s Super Best Friends episode?

The Super Best Friends episode was obviously a take on Scientology and the weird alien where everybody killed themselves. But, surprisingly close in the premise at the beginning – tell people they’re unhappy (not really hard to convince them in the first place) and then don’t let them leave without talking for it so long
that they get tired of arguing and decide to stay.
Of the super best friends – the mormon dude? Really? He’s a cult leader, or at least I always thought so. In that case, David Blaine will soon join the superprophets. The joke they made about Buddha not believing in
evil – funny, and true. I most identify with Buddhism after leaving the cult because they don’t really believe in God either. It’s kind of like 6 of this, half dozen of the other – so ambiguous that it can never be wrong.