The Uncut Version of the South Park Pilot Has a Stronger Plot and Worse Language Than the Original

Comedy Central recently released the Uncut Version of the South Park Pilot which contains two and a half additional minutes of footage over the pilot that we all know and love.

There were a few things in there that made me wonder whether or not they were in the original because it’s been so long since I saw the original. I’m pretty sure that the considerably more rampant use of the word ‘fuck’ was not part of the classic pilot.

In addition to a few interspersed lines here and there, there were two main scenes in the uncut version that weren’t in the original episode.

1. The first is the boys on the playground about to eat the hot tamales that Chef gave them so they could have fevers, get out of school and go find Ike. This part was almost entirely absent from the classic pilot. Where were the hot tamales? I’ve got to say, the plot made a lot more sense with Cartman farting fire after the tamale thread was introduced.

2. The other scene was the one in the nurse’s office – and where was her coinjoined twin? There sure was some awesome Pip bashing in this episode.

Other extended scenes included the alien one towards the end with Chef, the Barbrady conclusion, and ones with Cartman’s mother (and was that his father and/or sister!?!?). Even Wendy and Pip had bigger roles in this episode.

All in all I would say that this uncut version gave the episode a more meaningful and understandable plot, a more robust depth, and a more thorough introduction to characters that would appear later on. Check it for yourself and let me know what you thought.

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It’s the Classic First Episode of South Park, “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe” (101)!

Wow! – Talk about a throwback to the beginning. This episode was actually made out of cardboard, it’s covered in shadows and the voices and art are primitive. And it’s in all of those things that it’s so awesome. Parker and Stone had to work so hard to produce this episode. Now they can throw them together in a matter of days with computer animation and a huge team of worker-bees. Not so for episode 101. They did it all themselves, by hand, with cardboard cut-outs. Does that make it better? No. But it does make it really neat.

That’s in part why I really like the episode in which Steven Spielberg and George Lucas are mocked for updating their movies. Episode 101 is recalled and the guys say that they meant to have different things in it but just couldn’t make it happen within the budget and technology at the time. Now, however, they can update it and make it better. No! This episode is great just like it is (which is, of course, their entire point).

The episode is also funny – and I don’t mean funny in South Park‘s profound and socially commentary-y way. Funny in that it’s filled with cursing eight-year olds and fart jokes and toilet humor. Funny in that when it was released, this sort of thing wasn’t on television. There were very few adult cartoons at the time, save the Simpsons. This was before the days of Adult Swim. At the very least, adult cartoons didn’t feature children. This was something new and fresh and though the show has become more ‘refined’ and profound over the course of the last decade plus, I’ll always love this first episode for its total ‘id’ quality.

What did you think about this episode? What was your favorite part?

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Randy and Stan Make Alien Contact in South Park Episode 1306, “Pinewood Derby”

For the Pinewood Derby, father-son teams build cars with official Pinewood Derby kits and then race them against each other. Randy, unable to bear Stan’s potential loss, steals an experimental magnetic semi-conductor and cheats by including it in the car to make it heavier on the front end. During the race, Stan’s car bends space and time and travels at warp speed all the way to space. When an alien ship makes contact and says that it wants to meet the people that designed the warp drive, the whole world watches.

Unfortunately it’s a gangster alien that takes the world hostage and forces Randy to build him another warp drive to escape from the alien cops that are chasing him for stealing a bunch of space cash. Oh my!

When the alien cops follow this alien gangster to earth the alien gangster takes Stan hostage and makes Randy lie about him being there. However, when Randy finishes the car and shows the alien, he has Stan shank the alien, killing him and allowing all the countries of earth to take and divide up the stolen space cash. The cops return, but the earthlings deny knowing about the cash so that the cops leave.

After the rest of earth nukes the Fins for threatening to tell on them all, the alien cops return again and the whole world continues denying any knowledge of the money. Stan, however, comes forward, and returns his Pinewood Derby trophy, confessing that he cheated and emphasizing that the longer he lies the more he has to maintain and perpetuate the lie. That doesn’t get the rest of the people to admit how they’re lying to the alien cops, though.

It’s at this point that we learn that these aliens were just testing earth – something they do to every planet after its inhabitants discover warp speed in order to decide if that planet should be admitted to the Intergalactic Federation of Planets. Because the people of earth lied and cheated they are forever banned from this Intergalactic Federation.

That sucks.

What’d you think of this episode? Did you like the message about lying or was it a little bit basic for South Park.

I think it was an interestingly constructed lesson and there were some good chuckles in the episode, but I also think it was the weakest episode of season 13 so far.

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Missionaries, the Bible and Conservative Christianity are all Parts of South Park Episode 311, “Starvin’ Marvin in Space”

Last week we got the pleasure of seeing the original Starvin’ Marvin episode and this week Comedy Central has decided to give us the premier Starvin’ Marvin episode. This is absolutely one of my favorites.

It begins with Marvin in the Bible class of a white missionary to Ethiopia named Sister Hollis. She is trying to woo the Ethiopians into Christianity by promising them food in exchange for accepting Jesus as their savior. They try to eat the Bible.

The plot of the episode is that Marvin finds an alien spacecraft and takes it around the world in search of a home for his people where they can have food and not missionaries. He winds up in South Park and the boys go with him to an alien planet called Marklar. The aliens say that they can bring Marvin’s people there, but when they return to get them the missionaries follow them to Marklar to spread the Bible.

The episode turns into a Star Wars spoof with Sally Struthers as Jabba the Hut, and with the Missionary 600, whose expoits are chronicled by Pat Robertson, the face of the Christian Broadcasting Channel (actually CBN and The 700 Club).

On Marklar, where everything and everyone is referred to as Marklar, Kyle tells the Marklars:

Marklar, these marklars want to change your marklar. They don’t want Marklar or any of these marklars to live here because it’s bad for their marklar. They use Marklar to try and force marklars to believe they’re marklar. If you let them stay here, they will build marklars and marklars. They will take all your marklars and replace them with Marklar. These marklar have no good marklar to live on Marklar, so they must come here to Marklar. Please, let these marklars stay where they can grow and prosper without any marklars, marklars,  or marklars.

How sensational. And the Marklars agree to let the Ethiopians stay and make the missionaries go.

“But you know you’ll burn forever in eternal hellfire,” the missionaries say.

“Yes, that’s nice. Thank you for stopping by.”

Awesome.

I love this episode.

What do you think of this episode? What’s your favorite part.

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“Starvin Marvin in Space” – An Excellent South Park Episode about Missionaries and Truly Helping Others

Episode 311 is absolutely one of my favorites. The entire episode is relevant to religion, and as the subject of The Zen of South Park, it is central to my chapters on the Bible and Christianity.

The episode begins in Ethiopia where Sister Hollis, a missionary, is trying to get an Ethiopian tribe, which includes Marvin, to read from the Bible. She has basically made it clear that these destitute and starving Ethiopians will be given food enough to survive only once they read the Bible and accept Jesus. Disgusted by this approach Marvin leaves in an alien spaceship that he found in the desert in search of a better place for his tribe to live where they can be free from Christian missionaries.

The contrasts in this episode between allegedly helpful missionaries who claim to follow Jesus but who actually disgrace what he stood for, and sympathetic aliens that do wish to help yet have no concept of Jesus because being good doesn’t necessarily require any knowledge of Jesus, are outstanding and profound. What’s more is Kyle’s speech with the word Marklar everywhere:

“Wait, wait. I think I can explain this whole thing. Marklar, these Marklars want to change your Marklar. They don’t want this Marklar or any of his Marklars to live here because it’s bad for their Marklar. They use Marklar to try and force Marklars to believe their Marklar. If you let them stay here, they will build Marklars and Marklars. They will take all of your Marklars and replace them with Marklars. These Marklars have no good Marklars to live on Marklars so they must come here to Marklar. Please, let these Marklars stay where they can grow and prosper without any Marklars, Marklars or Marklars.”

Don’t miss this truly sensational South Park episode. Did you see it? What did you think? Do you have experience with missionaries or are you a missionary? Would you like to join me for an interview about your activities so we can all understand that not all missionaries are as they have been portrayed in this episode?

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