The Boys Get Their Wrestling Shot at the WWE on South Park Episode 1310, “WTF”

After an amazing evening watching live WWE “wrestling” the boys decide that they want to take up wrestling themselves. Upon joining the wrestling team at school and deciding that the “wrastling” teacher just wants them to be gay together (not that there’s anything wrong with that), they form the WTF, their own wrestling organization.

It’s just for fun, and they have a great time staging their ridiculous wrestling plots, including sleeping with each others’ girlfriends and being half-siblings with one another, but then people start watching, and the WTF grows and grows. Every redneck in town thinks that the plots are real – that Cartman dressed up as Stan’s girlfriend really did have 7 abortions as a 9 year old.

The “wrastling” teacher grows increasingly frustrated at the misconceptions about what wrestling really is, especially after being fired for not being useful to the school anymore and having gay porn (wrestling videos) on his phone.

As the WTF grows in acclaim, it comes to the attention of WWE and Vince McMahon, who comes to South Park to watch a match and potentially recruit someone into the WWE. Striving for their best and most dramatic performance to date – since they’ve realized that wrestling is just acting – the boys put on a killer show in which Cartman, addicted to abortions, has one right their on stage. Moreover, one of his aborted babies survived and comes back to confront him.

“Get back to the dumpster where you belong!”

And the people all believe it! Incredulity was not the name of the game.

3 Things I Loved About This Episode

1. They killed Kenny for the first time in a while – in Spanish! Like most, I got tired of Kenny’s perpetual deaths (though I have a theory about his resurrection…), but once in a while it’s amusing to kill him. Why this time? Because his wrestling character was El Pollo Loco (The Crazy Chicken), and it was all the Mexicans who loved him.

The episode ends with the “wrastling” teacher attempting to kill Vince McMahon with a rocket launcher. However, when the rocket sputters out on the stage where the kids are wrestling, Kenny grabs the rocket and is shot into the sky and explodes.

Will he return in the next episode!?

2. The reference to the episode, “Goodbacks,” in which the entire town hates the people from the future because they “Took our jobs!” which degrades into “Dey duk er jers!” and worse.

In this episode this only got more ridiculous as the “wrastling” teacher told his tale of woe, and everybody echoed the sentiments he was expressing:

“They took his job!”

“De duk ur doob!”

“They broke his jaw!”

“They took his dog!”

3. The fact that all of the rednecks were drinking wine while watching wrestling. Why? I think because they were trying to be sophisticated along the lines of wrestling being good acting and the wrestling experience being akin to a theater experience (like when Vince McMahon has a Playbill).

Did you like this episode? What was your favorite part?

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Butters is the Greatest Pimp in the Game on South Park Episode 1309, “Butters’ Bottom Bitch”

When the boys harass Butters for not ever having kissed a girl, Butters ponies up the $5 to kiss Sally, a girl who kisses boys behind the trailers. This rise to manhood makes Butters realize that he needs to start making a living. Upon bringing boys to Sally for $5 kisses and getting a cut, Butters’ enterprise only snowballs from there.

Butters becomes South Park’s newest pimp – and he’s damn good at it. He gets more girls to make more money and eventually he’s rakin’ it in. After attending a pimp convention, Butters learns the lingo, getting straight who his hos and bitches are, and always saying, “Do you know what I am saying?”

“Yes, I know what you are saying. You don’t have to keep asking me.”

As his kissing company grows, Butters starts to get adult prostitutes who want a pimp that respects them and doesn’t beat them – and that’s Butters. With so much money coming in he goes to ACORN and even gets low income housing and medicare for his bitches.

At the end of the episode, Butters is inspired by the true love of a pimp and an undercover cop dressed as a prostitute, which makes him get out of the pimpin’ game, realizing that the money women make – whether for kissing or listening to a man’s mother fu#@in problems – is their money.

This episode was hysterical. The plot was hilarious and ridiculous and there were tons of good ol’ South Park lines that just made you laugh. It was great when Stan threatened Butters for harassing Wendy and when Butters offered Clyde $100 to protect him if Stan came over.

Just a great frickin’ episode. What’d you think? What was your favorite line?

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Cartman Wants to Visit “Casa Bonita” More Than Anything in South Park Episode 711

Ever since seeing this episode I’ve wanted to visit Casa Bonita. A friend of mine had actually gone before the airing of this episode, and though this episode made him want to return, he insists that the food is relatively disappointing. Have you ever been to Casa Bonita? Any thoughts in that department?

For Kyle’s birthday, his mom is taking him and three friends to Casa Bonita. Rather than take Cartman, who he insists is not really his friend, Kyle has decided to take Butters instead. Wanting nothing more than to visit the awesome and beloved Casa Bonita with it’s phenomenal food and amazing entertainment, Cartman plots to steal Butters’ space on the birthday outing. He tricks Butters into hiding in a bomb shelter by telling him that the world is about to end and then acts really nicely towards Kyle so that he’ll take Cartman along to Casa Bonita when Butters is nowhere to be found. It gets twisted when everyone thinks that Butters is missing or dead and Cartman stays quiet in order to make it to Casa Bonita.

I think this is a pretty darn funny episode. What did you think? What was your favorite part?

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Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha and the Super Best Friends Defeat David Blaine and His Cult in South Park Episode 504, “Super Best Friends”

Beyond the shadow of a doubt, this is one of my favorite South Park episodes – perhaps my single favorite.

When David Blaine starts forming a cult following of Blainetologists, the boys join up, convinced that they are actually going to magic camp. Concerned at the ridiculousness of it all, Stan defects, though Kyle and Cartman stay. The cult starts seeking tax exempt status from the government, potentially making it a bona fide religion, and when it is denied this status, David Blaine sends his followers to Washington DC to commit mass suicide.

Stan, having gone to Jesus to warn him about this cult danger, is taken by Jesus to the Hall of the Super Best Friends, where he meets a league of religious leaders who believe in fighting for justice and the power of good over evil. The league includes Mohammed, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Krishna, Joseph Smith and Seaman. Stan learns that even though their followers fight and squabble for little or no reason, the leaders themselves are all friends – well, not just friends, but Super Best Friends!

What a fantastic message, unparalleled in the history of South Park message importance.

Working together, the Super Best Friends are eventually able to defeat David Blaine and prevent everyone else from committing suicide.

I’ll refrain from droning on and on about the awesomeness of what this episode is imparting about the legitimacy of world religions or the unhealthy fervency of cults and their often dissembling leaders. I’ll also refrain from droning on about how Blainetology is really meant to represent Scientology and how awful Trey Parker and Matt Stone find that religion. But if you’d like to discuss the matter further, share your own two cents or ask any questions, I’d be delighted to go on.

What did you think about this episode?

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Cartman Wants to Feel Jesus’ Salvation All Over His Face in South Park Episode 709, “Christian Rock Hard”

As an episode about South Park exploiting the Christian music industry in order to win a bet with Kyle, you can only imagine how much I love “Christian Rock Hard.”

So, now you know the premise, and what’s left to enjoy are Cartman’s experiences creating his awesome band. By taking the lyrics from old songs and replacing key words with Jesus, we’re left with a series of sensual, sexual and disturbing song about Cartman and Jesus. The songs also have great names that recall issues like salvation, crucifixion, sin and forgiveness. The names of the other Christian rock bands, like “Trinity,” also speak to South Park‘s amusing understanding of Christianity.

At Christfest, where Cartman hopes his band will perform, there is a stand selling bibles and another selling items with your favorite psalm printed on them. A particularly hilarious scene is when Cartman and the band are in the record company’s president’s office about to have their band signed. Cartman challenges God to strike him with lightening if he is being insincere about his love of Jesus. Butters scoots away.

In the meantime, in addition to mocking Christian rock and Cartman’s exploitation of evangelical Christians everywhere, the show comments on a social issue prevalent at the time: downloading big bands’ music from Napster and the internet. This lambasting of Metallica and others for their self-obsession, greediness, conceit and lack of interest in the music when compared to the money is both blatant and, I’d say, deserved. Sure, musicians have a right to protect their music – it is theirs after all – but to try to stand in the way of what, we can see 6 years later, is an unstoppable progression in the way music is acquired and listened to, is foolish and short-sighted.

What did you think about this episode? What was your favorite part?

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Cartman Atones and Butters is Probed in South Park Episode 906, “The Death of Eric Cartman”

I find this to be a particularly fantastic episode. First, I love the idea of the boys finally ignoring Cartman for doing the ultimate in unthinkable to them: eating all of the skins off of the KFC. Out of all the terrible things he’s done, that was the last straw. And it is as a result of ignoring him that Cartman believes he is actually dead.

Second, I think that Cartman’s approach to his death, as guided by Butters, is amazing. Cartman believes that his soul is stuck on earth because he has yet to do everything he needed to do. Butters informs him that perhaps his soul is stuck because he has to atone for his sins before he can be forgiven and go to heaven, where he will receive $10,000 – cash.

Cartman apologizes to everyone, including Kyle, through Butters. He tells Kyle not to be so hard on himself when Kyle insists that he is Jewish.

By far the most hilarious part of the episode, however, is when Butters is taken for experimental therapy because he can’t stop seeing the ghost of his dead friend, Eric. I won’t describe that therapy here but I will beseech you to watch the episode and laugh hysterically for yourself. And if you don’t find it funny or if I’ve built it up too much for it to be funny, well, whoops.

What did you think about this episode? What was your favorite part?

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Mr. Slave Rectally Ingests Paris Hilton in “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset,” South Park Episode 812

Talk about a lesson with a moral – and a disturbing scene.

Unfortunately, our culture reveres despicable pseudo-celebrities like Paris Hilton, and our little girls have begun to emulate her. How do you emulate Paris Hilton? By purchasing the Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset!

Wendy Testeburger is not interested in acting like a stupid spoiled whore and is ostracized by her friends for being a goody-two shoes, despite doing her best, eventually, to become like Paris.

Curiously enough, it is Mr. Slave who has to teach Wendy that she shouldn’t want to be a stupid spoiled whore and that she shouldn’t revere Paris Hilton. In fact, to stop Paris Hilton, Mr. Slave challenges Paris to a whore-off, ultimately winning by landing on Paris so that she winds up in his rectum.

Delicious.

I’d say that the point of this episode is pretty straight-forward and doesn’t require a lot of philosophical speculation on my part. Correct me if I’m wrong and leave your waxings below.

What did you think about this episode? What was your favorite part?

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Cartman Leads a Somalian Pirate Crew in the South Park Season 13 Midway Finale (1307), “Fatbeard”

Cartman bursts into the cafeteria with exciting news: piracy is back! He tells the other boys that freedom from their lives of oppression awaits on the high seas around Somalia, where they’ll find lagoons and waterfalls and booty.

Kyle insists that this is a very good idea, hoping that Cartman will go to Mogadishu, but says that, as a Jew, he can’t be a pirate. Cartman is glad that Kyle is finally coming to terms with his disability.

Butters, Clyde, Ike and Craig all join Cartman as pirates and after purchasing tickets to Somalia on Cartman’s mom’s credit card, they go to Mogadishu. The pirates they find, however, decide to take them captive and hold them for ransom – but of course the boys think they’re all just being pirates together since the Somali pirates don’t speak English.

Kyle is excited that Cartman has left South Park until his parents inform him that Ike has gone with Cartman and company. In Ike’s note, he reveals that he’s grown weary of the monotony of middle class life and if one more person mentions Susan Boyle then he’s going to vomit his brains through his nose. Kyle has to go to Somalia and get Ike.

Back in Somalia, the boys are traded to a French ship for a ransom but then they take over the French yacht themselves and kick off the French crew. Now deserving a little respect, Cartman, back at the pirates’ layer, tries to make everyone into what he considers legitimate pirates. With increased organization and better pirating going on the UN grows concerned, especially once it learns that a white boy (Kyle) has been taken captive and is being held for ransom.

Ultimately, the episode’s lesson comes when one of the pirates takes a moment to talk to Butters and Ike. He says that he can’t understand how anyone would want to be a pirate. That being a pirate is scary and terrible and something that you only do out of necessity. Butters and Ike realize that despite coming from a life of rules and order they have things pretty good in America and they shouldn’t be bitching about their standard middle class lives.

I take that to mean that making something interesting of yourself and making the most of your life is one thing but to bitch about the dreariness of life here is to take for granted how good we have it – especially when compared to the god-forsaken dumping ground that is Somalia.

Have you ever been to Somalia? Have you ever been confronted by pirates? Did you ever want to be a pirate? What happened to your dreams?

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Cartman Becomes The Coon in Order to Save South Park in Episode 1302, “Mysterion”

Episode Summary

Cartman, in an attempt to rid the town of crime in the augmenting crime during such tough times, adopts an alterego superhero identity known as The Coon. He dresses like a racoon, and it’s not entirely clear whether there’s an inappropriate slur being insinuated here. In any case, Cartman wants to spread the word about this new character and tries to draw attention to the Coon however he can, including throwing an unsuccessful event called Coonicon 2009.

All of Cartman’s efforts are for nought, however, because another superhero, Mysterion, has captured everyone’s attention. Pissed that his spotlight is shining on Mysterion, Cartman teams up with Professor Chaos and General Disarray (Butters and Dougie) in order to get rid of his primary competitor. By threatening to blow up a hospital (Cartman’s idea) if Mysterion doesn’t reveal his true identity, Professor Chaos forces a confrontation between himself and Mysterion.

A battle ensues, which the whole town watches, and when it’s over, Cartman convinces Mysterion to unmask himself in order to prevent threats on the public in the future.

They really screw us good by showing us the kid’s face, which, as a South Park face, is totally indistinguishable. Then they make some jokes about stuff we already knew without narrowing the identity down. Cartman, it seems, will remain the town’s superhero.

And then…

This episode nailed a number of things, particularly all of the superhero movies that have come out recently, like Batman, Watchmen and The Spirit.

I also appreciated the knocks against all of the obnoxious people who think that in 2 months Barack Obama should have changed everything. It takes a very long time for the effects of a president’s specific work to be felt in the general public and for people to assume that Obama could have changed anything by now is pure foolishness. Give the man time.

Good episode – pretty silly, and not fixated on some larger issue like many are. Cartman getting pissed off and cursing so much was surprisingly funny.

What did you think of the episode? How do you feel about Season 13 so far?

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George Clooney’s Smug and South Park’s Hybrid Smug Create the Ultimate Smug Storm in “Smug Alert,” South Park Episode 1002

This episode is awesome and hilarious. On the one hand, I love the way it makes fun of San Francisco. I’ve been living in San Francisco for about 7 months and it really is a great city but holy shit am I tired of hearing about how great it is from every San Franciscan. These people think they are so progressive living in San Francisco. Even the carpet commercials say, “You’re a progressive Californian and you deserve a progressive carpet.” Oh my god! Suck my nuts! Though I like San Francisco, I love the way this episode captures the attitude out here. People here really do love the smell of their own farts (who doesn’t?).

Speaking of loving the smell of his own farts, let’s talk about Gerald Broflovski, who becomes ever more impressed with himself when he purchases a Hybrid and thinks that he’s saving the world. So smug is he that he eventually decides to move his family to San Francisco to cohabitate with all the other self-satisfied hybrid drivers.

In a desperate attempt to get his friend back to South Park (obviously Kyle went away with his family – and starts dropping acid in order to escape his parents who love the smells of their own farts so much) Stan writes a song that is meant to inspire people in South Park to buy hybrids. Well, it works, and ultimately the smug gathering over South Park at people’s new sense of self-satisfaction and the smug gathering over San Francisco combine into an unbelievable Smug System. When the smug from George Clooney’s Oscar acceptance speech (in which he speaks about how ahead of the times actors and Hollywood are) heads in the direction of the already brewing smug catastrophe, it’s more pressure than the western half of the U.S. can take.

See what the fallout of the smug is in “Smug Alert,” an awesome South Park episode.

What did you think? What was your favorite part?

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