In South Park Episode 1308 Michael Jackson Possesses Ike, Who’s Seeing “Dead Celebrities” Like Billy Mays Selling Chipotlaway

Oh my God! How does the first episode begin with the Broflovskis having dirty sex! Gross and fantastic.

Dead Celebrities – AHH!

But what is this episode really about? Dead celebrities that are stuck in purgatory and who can’t pass into the after life. A lot of celebrities died this past summer, a number of whom were featured in this episode:

– Billy Mays
– Fara Faucet
– David Kerotine
– Ed McMahan
– Walter Kronkite

– And many more (who else did you notice?)

This purgatory in which they’re stuck is akin to being stuck on a plane that’s on the runway waiting to take off. It’s pushed back from the gate and you can’t go to the bathroom, and they haven’t started serving drinks, and you can’t get off the plane. That’s where every famous celebrity has been waiting for 3 months because . . .

Michael Jackson is in denial about being dead!

Just Let It Go MJ

He’s been in denial his entire life: denial about his age, his gender, his race, his history and his life. People who are in denial can’t move on and they hold up the whole plane – especially those who have a ton of baggage . . . and Michael Jackson has a ton of baggage.

After an episode of making fun of dead celebrities – primarily Billy Mays who has designed Chipotlaway to keep the blood stains out of your underwear after you eat Chipotle – and Ghost Hunters and The Sixth Sense, Ike ends up in the hospital with Dr. Phillips (who has the voice of the Sparrow King from the Lemmiwinks episodes), the doctor of Spooky Things.

When Michael Jackson takes over Ike’s body, we learn that the only way to get rid of a ghost possessing a human is to make the ghost feel like what it has never gotten before and what it longs for living people to acknowledge it as. In Michael Jackson’s case, that’s being acknolwedged as a little, white girl.

Chipotlaway Saves the Day

In order to make him feel like a little white girl, the boys dress Ike up as, well, a little white girl and put him into one of those obnoxious pageant shows. And how do the boys ensure that Michael Jackson wins the pageant and feels like a little white girl so that all of the dead celebrities can move out of purgatory? Well, the only judge who wasn’t arrested for jerking off to the girls in the pageant trades Cartman the secret of Chipotlaway for a vote for Ike/Michael Jackson.

Upon winning, Michael Jackson finds himself acknowledged as a little white girl and his soul is freed. He returns to the purgatory plane which takes off and then all of the celebrities go to . . . HELL!

Final Thoughts

So, I thought this was an incredible mid-season opener. It nailed so many things, had some great lines, was gross and silly and touched on a few worthwhile issues. No, it wasn’t super heady or the best episode or anything like that, but it was jam-packed, relatively twisted and pretty great. I’m totally excited that new episodes are back in the making, and I’m really thrilled to be working on my book right now and getting ready to release it as an ebook. Right now I’ve got a FREE Bonus Chapter from The Zen of South Park available to whomever wants it. There will be more free South Park stuff to come, and I’ll keep you posted on the status of the book.

What did you think about this first episode? Did you like it? Was it a good mid-season opener? Let me know in the comments below.

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Cartman Leads a Somalian Pirate Crew in the South Park Season 13 Midway Finale (1307), “Fatbeard”

Cartman bursts into the cafeteria with exciting news: piracy is back! He tells the other boys that freedom from their lives of oppression awaits on the high seas around Somalia, where they’ll find lagoons and waterfalls and booty.

Kyle insists that this is a very good idea, hoping that Cartman will go to Mogadishu, but says that, as a Jew, he can’t be a pirate. Cartman is glad that Kyle is finally coming to terms with his disability.

Butters, Clyde, Ike and Craig all join Cartman as pirates and after purchasing tickets to Somalia on Cartman’s mom’s credit card, they go to Mogadishu. The pirates they find, however, decide to take them captive and hold them for ransom – but of course the boys think they’re all just being pirates together since the Somali pirates don’t speak English.

Kyle is excited that Cartman has left South Park until his parents inform him that Ike has gone with Cartman and company. In Ike’s note, he reveals that he’s grown weary of the monotony of middle class life and if one more person mentions Susan Boyle then he’s going to vomit his brains through his nose. Kyle has to go to Somalia and get Ike.

Back in Somalia, the boys are traded to a French ship for a ransom but then they take over the French yacht themselves and kick off the French crew. Now deserving a little respect, Cartman, back at the pirates’ layer, tries to make everyone into what he considers legitimate pirates. With increased organization and better pirating going on the UN grows concerned, especially once it learns that a white boy (Kyle) has been taken captive and is being held for ransom.

Ultimately, the episode’s lesson comes when one of the pirates takes a moment to talk to Butters and Ike. He says that he can’t understand how anyone would want to be a pirate. That being a pirate is scary and terrible and something that you only do out of necessity. Butters and Ike realize that despite coming from a life of rules and order they have things pretty good in America and they shouldn’t be bitching about their standard middle class lives.

I take that to mean that making something interesting of yourself and making the most of your life is one thing but to bitch about the dreariness of life here is to take for granted how good we have it – especially when compared to the god-forsaken dumping ground that is Somalia.

Have you ever been to Somalia? Have you ever been confronted by pirates? Did you ever want to be a pirate? What happened to your dreams?

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Ike Broflovski Does His Teacher and Cartman is the Dawg in South Park Episode 1010, “Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy”

The first time I saw this episode I was unfamiliar with Dog, Bounty Hunter. I’d never heard of it and had no idea what South Park was making fun of. I thought it was funny, though, to see Cartman running around with this weird team, screaming at people about going with Jesus while he slammed them violently into lockers. Since then, I’ve constantly been amused by the actual show, Dog, Bounty Hunter. What was also amusing, if a little weirder, was Ike Broflovski doing his teacher.

When Cartman is made the hall monitor, he takes on the persona of Dawg, a no-nonsense, street-tough, degenerate-punishing crime fighter who can’t stand the idea that two people (he could care less that it’s a student and a teach) are violating his hall by making out in it. He’s determined to catch them, and the end of the episode is quite hilarious (Cartman’s line in particular). It won’t translate well here so I recommend you watch the episode and enjoy.

What did you think? What was your favorite part?

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Cartman’s “Trapper Keeper” Will Destroy the Universe in South Park Episode 413

Cartman gets a cool new Dawson’s Creek Trapper Keeper which can merge with any existing technology. When a man calling himself Bill Cosby comes back from the future and claims that the Trapper Keeper eventually takes over the world and that he must destroy it before it’s too late, Cartman thinks Kyle is just jealous and plotting against him.

In the meantime, Mr. Garrison has become the kindergarten teacher and decides to start the class by electing a class president. A tie occurs between Ike Broflovski and another kid and so a run-off ensues, but cannot be decided (remind you of anything?).

Rosie O’Donnell then comes to defend her nephew (Ike’s opponent) and ensure that he is treated fairly. After she behaves like a meddling celebrity, Mr. Garrison screams, “Half the kids in the class didn’t vote for your nephew, so what about them? You don’t give a crap about them because they’re not on your side! People like you preach tolerance and open-mindedness all the time, but when it comes to Middle America, you think we’re all evil and stupid country yokels who need your political enlightenment!! WELL, JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE ON TV DOESN’T MEAN YOU KNOW CRAP ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT!!! NOW GET YOUR ASS BACK ON FIRST CLASS AND RESPECT THIS CLASS’S RIGHT TO MAKE UP THEIR OWN MINDS!!!”

When Cartman’s Trapper Keeper does turn into a massive and scary blob, Kyle goes inside to stop it and is only able to do so because Cartman (who is inside the Trapper Keeper) is weakened after trying to absorb Rosie O’Donnell. Apparently, she’s poisonous.

Do you think that celebrities should interfere in politics as much as they do and voice their opinions so vehemently?

What did you think? What was your favorite part?

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Ike Broflovski is Taken to Saddam Hussein’s Canada in South Park Episode 715, “Christmas in Canada”

When Ike Broflovski’s birth-parents interrupt quiet, family Hanukah prayers and insist on taking Ike back to Canada by decree of the new Canadian Prime Minister, Sheila and Gerald Broflovski are devastated. Cartman tells Kyle that this is what he gets for being Jewish at Christmas time: some Jesus revenge. In a show of unprecedented good faith, the South Park townsfolk offer to forgo Christmas gift-giving and donate all of their money to the Broflovskis for legal fees to take their case to Canada.

Rather than lose Christmas, the boys decide to help Kyle go to Canada and confront the Canadian Prime Minister about taking Ike. The whole time they want to hurry back to South Park, though, so that they are sure not to miss out on any Christmas adventures. Funny, since they are traversing Canada by foot after their plane crashed and confronting all sorts of weird and wacky characters Wizard of Oz style (with Scott, the dickhead Canadian as the Wicked Witch).

As their plane is crashing (it’s piloted by the same guy who owns City Wok and is called City [Shitty] Airlines), the pilot tells them: “As you can see it appears that we are going down. Now would be a good time to reflect on your life and pray to whatever deity you believe in.”

At the end of the episode, Kyle speaks about the importance of family and who we love and explains to the Canadian Prime Minister – who turns out to be the escaped Saddam Hussein! – that, “Family isn’t about whose blood you have in you. Family’s about the people who cared about you and took care of you. We’re not the same blood, but I love my little brother. We’ve taken care of him because he needed us to, and that makes us more family than anything.”

Very touching and a lovely Christmas episode.

What do you think? What was your favorite part?

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