Kyle Swims Through a Water Park of “Pee” in the South Park Season 13 Finale

This was the last episode of the 13th season of South Park. That makes me sad. Wednesday nights will be forever emptier because of this. Well, not forever more. They’ll be better again in a few months when South Park is back.

In this episode, the boys go to the local water park, Pi Pi’s, where Kyle opts to stay out of the water indefinitely due to its incredibly high concentration of urine. Cartman, however, is disappointed for other reasons: the water park is filled with minorities.

Black people.

Mexicans.

Chinese.

He thinks he even saw some Native Americans.

This, of course, is less stated than it is sung in a beautiful song. Trey Parker is quite the composer – always has been. Indeed, Cartman predicts that the Mayans got the year of the Apocalypse wrong and that rather then 2012, it’s actually happening in 2009, since the water park has been taken over by minorities and Cartman is the “last of his kind.”

When warned that the pee content of his water park is so high that the park is on the verge of disaster, Pi Pi does nothing – to the detriment of human kind . . . well, human kind currently in attendance at his water park. With the urination of one final little girl, the water becomes 100% pee and disaster ensues. Everything goes to hell – in Cartman’s eyes, the Mayan Apocalypse.

In order to drain the pee from the park, Kyle has to hold his breath and swim through it down to an underwater release valve, but in order to do that he must first drink pee in order to avoid the bends. Since pee grosses him out so much, this is obviously a monumental task. It’s pretty hilarious listening to the other boys be honest about all the things they do related to pee that Kyle considers unacceptable:

– pee in the shower

– pee in the pool

– not wash their hands after peeing

Gross!! I’d never not wash my hands after peeing. Yeah . . . never . . .

Obviously the moment Kyle drank the pee they were all rescued, since is was discovered that the antidote to anger caused by the overexposure to pee is bananas. And yes, the part where the monkeys got angry while getting urinated on was hilarious and disgusting.

Funny enough, I loved that Kyle hated bananas so much and had to eat one after drinking the pee. Why? My wife loves most foods but HATES bananas. She finds them revolting, particularly the smell. Sometimes to be cruel when we’re at the grocery store I’ll hold a bunch of bananas behind her head and then say her name so that she turns around and finds them there. She hates that. I’m very mature.

This wasn’t a killer episode like a few of the other poignant ones this season, but it was amusing, particularly the unbearably racist sentiments that got called out and exposed for being illogical: minorities are beginning to make up the majority. Get used to it. It’s okay and that’s where things were going. We’re all immigrants – thanks White Stripes.

An interesting aside: there was a commercial for Avatar during South Park, which is interesting because last week’s episode made fun of Avatar and showed South Park being really angry that the movie was ripping off something else (I asked what that something else was but nobody knew to tell me).

What’d you think of this episode? Did you like it? What did you think about the 13th season? Which episode was your favorite.

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In South Park Episode 1312 the Boys Launch a Campaign to Change the Word “Fag” to Mean a Loud, Douchebag, Harley Rider

By way of having a real meaning I thought this episode was the king of the season so far.

Harley Davidson bikers are driving around South Park trying to be cool and badass. They’re actually just disrupting everyone’s lovely days by making tons of noise and generally being obnoxious. They boys start calling them fags, and when the bikers don’t stop ruining everything the boys shit on their bike seats and spray paint, “Get Out Fags,” all over town.

This, of course, causes grave concern, first amongst the gay people in town (Mr. Slave and Big Gay Al) and then amongst the school administration and the local government. Everyone is shocked that Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman so freely admit that they’re guilty of being abusive towards gays, and this causes the boys to explain their behavior. They say that the loud and obnoxious bikers are fags. Not gay. Gay people are fine. It’s fags (i.e. bikers) that they hate.

It takes everyone a while to understand the differentiation between the words “fag” and “gay” but eventually a dictionary is actually broken open on the show and the evolving definition of the word is explained. Fag has referred to a variety of different hated groups throughout history, only recently gay people, but it’s meaning continues to change as those addressed by the word become irrelevant or no longer hated. That is, as a group, gay people are no longer fags.

In fact, in order to make this entire situation clear and officially make the new meaning of Fag “annoying Harley Davidson bikers,” the boys ask the keepers of the dictionary to make it a permanent definition.

So incensed are Harley Davidson bikers at the idea of being the new fags that they nearly destroy the entire town fighting about it. That, of course, only makes them faggier. By the end of the episode it is clear that those loud bike-riding douches are the world’s biggest FAGS.

I loved that this episode separated the word fag from the word gay. All too often people use gay as a negative adjective, and that’s terrible. Fag, however, is another story. That word is meant to have a negative connotation, and though it’s still a shame to draw that connotation because of its modern relationship to the word fag, it’s great that someone is making an effort to change the word to something new. Leave it to South Park to instigate social change.

Funniest line from the episode: when the boys are asked what someone who is considering getting a Harley and driving it around loudly is called, Cartman replies, “bike-curious.” Say it fast and you’ll get it. Just a nice pun on the use of fag and gay in this episode.

What’d you think of this most recent episode? What was your favorite part.

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Stan Takes over “Whale Wars” and Battles the Japanese in South Park Episode 1311

The Japanese Are Killing Whales!

Where the idea to deal with the issue of whaling came from I’m not sure at all. But hey, it’s South Park. I guess it was the opportunity to paint Captain Paul Watson as a total worthless piece of shit. By the looks of things, he is, but hey, 19 times out of 20 I believe South Park so maybe I’m not the best judge (though I’ve got a feeling…).

So the episode begins with the Japanese massacring whales and dolphins at aquariums all over America, including, I have to mention, the incredible aquarium in my home town, the Georgia Aquarium. And the Japanese killed the Baluga Whales. NOOO! The Japanese hate dolphins so much that they even kill the Miami Dolphins!

Somebody tweeted, “no wildcat offense – damn you Japanese!” That was pretty funny.

What Stan Wants to Do About It

Incensed at the violence against whales, Stan tries to encourage his friends to do something. They’re all playing Rock Band (or Guitar Hero – I can’t tell the difference), and Cartman is singing Poker Face by Lady Gaga. Cartman’s response to Stan’s request is, “I’m not too busy. I just don’t give a shit – AT ALL.”

In order to save the whales from the Japanese, Stan joins the show Whale Wars, a show led by Captain Paul Watson, who South Park makes clear is an enormous and worthless, lying piece of shit. I love it when Matt and Trey go off on somebody through the show and just rip them a new asshole. This episode did an amazing job of that, even showing a real picture of Captain Paul Watson in the process (and a second one with “turd” spraypainted across his face).

Totally annoyed that Paul Watson is a liar with horrible ideas about how to prevent whaling, Stan takes matters into his own hands and blows up the Japanese whaling ship. After the very bloody death of Paul Watson (this episode has an unusually high amount of gratuitous violence, even for South Park), Stan takes over as Captain of Whale Wars, and as his efforts prove increasingly successful and his fame grows, magazines announce many hilarious things, including telling us that Stan “turns vegan pussies into actual pirates.”

On Larry King, Stan realizes that everybody is conflating his success with Whale Wars as being about the show’s rating and not saving the whales. As people say that it’s wrong to skirt the usual process of making a show (i.e. you can’t be a renegade and do things your own way but have to go through producers and scripting and directing, etc.), Stan just goes away to save the whales. I think that was South Park‘s dig at the protective nature of the television industry.

What the Whaling is Really About

After Cartman and Kenny join Stan’s Whale Wars in order to be on his now successful television show, the Japanese start Kamikaze bombing the whales and Stan’s boat. With the Japanese victorious, the boys end up in Japanese prison. Cartman starts playing a harmonica in the fashion of black slave songs and singing about his Japanese-imprisoned balls.

The Japanese president visits the three boys and takes them to Hiroshima and to the museum there. He explains that the Japanese have never recovered from the bombing of Hiroshima. The president then goes on to explain that it was a dolphin and a whale who bombed the Japanese in World War II, something they know because the Americans graciously gave them a picture of the plane that dropped the bomb – it was flown by a whale and a dolphin.

In order to deflect responsibility from the whale and dolphin, Stan provides the Japanese with a new picture that shows a cow and a chicken bombing Japan. As a result, the Japanese then begin viciously murdering cows and chickens.
Stan’s dad says, Good. Now they’re just like us.

Awesome.

Why This is Awesome

The Japanese don’t go whaling to be evil and murder dolphins and whales. They do it because they like to eat them – and they always have. We prefer cows and chickens and treat these animals horribly in order to eat what we like to eat. Though we’re not murdering them in the wild, we’re providing them with excruciating living conditions and a miserable existence.

Why? Because we like to eat them.

The Japanese kills whales in order to eat them, yet we consider whales a special and more sentient creature and get offended at the very idea. It’s our misplaced sense of cultural superiority that tells us that killing the animals we’ve decided to kill and eat is more acceptable than those that another culture prefers.

Some people are so caught up with the idea that we should “save the whales” and that whaling is evil (encapsulated by the show Whale Wars and its captain, Paul Watson), that we rarely stop to be introspective about our own animal-related decisions (and for the record I’m not a vegetarian nor a member of PETA or some other related fanatic). I just think that our sense of priorities can be misplaced. This doesn’t mean I think we should go whaling. I think that we should seek to treat all animals that we choose to eat in an ethical way and make sure that whatever we do to them is sustainable.

Best Episode of the Season

So far, I think this was the best episode of the season (by that I mean this half of the 13th season). It was outrageous, nailed a number of issues, some of which I’d never thoroughly considered (i.e. it made me think), and it brought things to my attention (like Whale Wars) that are totally stupid. At that, it was really funny and quite consistently so, unlike some other episodes whose jokes are farther between due to the need to move the plot and deal with a serious issue.

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The Boys Get Their Wrestling Shot at the WWE on South Park Episode 1310, “WTF”

After an amazing evening watching live WWE “wrestling” the boys decide that they want to take up wrestling themselves. Upon joining the wrestling team at school and deciding that the “wrastling” teacher just wants them to be gay together (not that there’s anything wrong with that), they form the WTF, their own wrestling organization.

It’s just for fun, and they have a great time staging their ridiculous wrestling plots, including sleeping with each others’ girlfriends and being half-siblings with one another, but then people start watching, and the WTF grows and grows. Every redneck in town thinks that the plots are real – that Cartman dressed up as Stan’s girlfriend really did have 7 abortions as a 9 year old.

The “wrastling” teacher grows increasingly frustrated at the misconceptions about what wrestling really is, especially after being fired for not being useful to the school anymore and having gay porn (wrestling videos) on his phone.

As the WTF grows in acclaim, it comes to the attention of WWE and Vince McMahon, who comes to South Park to watch a match and potentially recruit someone into the WWE. Striving for their best and most dramatic performance to date – since they’ve realized that wrestling is just acting – the boys put on a killer show in which Cartman, addicted to abortions, has one right their on stage. Moreover, one of his aborted babies survived and comes back to confront him.

“Get back to the dumpster where you belong!”

And the people all believe it! Incredulity was not the name of the game.

3 Things I Loved About This Episode

1. They killed Kenny for the first time in a while – in Spanish! Like most, I got tired of Kenny’s perpetual deaths (though I have a theory about his resurrection…), but once in a while it’s amusing to kill him. Why this time? Because his wrestling character was El Pollo Loco (The Crazy Chicken), and it was all the Mexicans who loved him.

The episode ends with the “wrastling” teacher attempting to kill Vince McMahon with a rocket launcher. However, when the rocket sputters out on the stage where the kids are wrestling, Kenny grabs the rocket and is shot into the sky and explodes.

Will he return in the next episode!?

2. The reference to the episode, “Goodbacks,” in which the entire town hates the people from the future because they “Took our jobs!” which degrades into “Dey duk er jers!” and worse.

In this episode this only got more ridiculous as the “wrastling” teacher told his tale of woe, and everybody echoed the sentiments he was expressing:

“They took his job!”

“De duk ur doob!”

“They broke his jaw!”

“They took his dog!”

3. The fact that all of the rednecks were drinking wine while watching wrestling. Why? I think because they were trying to be sophisticated along the lines of wrestling being good acting and the wrestling experience being akin to a theater experience (like when Vince McMahon has a Playbill).

Did you like this episode? What was your favorite part?

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The School Children All Get Lice in South Park Episode 1103, “Lice Capades”

This is a bizarre episode, that’s for sure. The premise is that Clyde gets lice, but the majority of the story is told from the perspective of a particular lice living on his head – and the hell Clyde’s poison shampoo wreaks on his family and life.

The South Park children get very uppity when they learn that one of their own has lice, but as it turns, Clyde isn’t the only one bringing this vermin around South Park Elementary.

One particularly noteworthy moment is when the lice refers to God’s plan, as if he is somehow part of it. Kind of throws our own obsession with being part of God’s plan into sharp relief.

What did you think of this episode? Favorite part?

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Cartman Becomes The Coon in Order to Save South Park in Episode 1302, “Mysterion”

Episode Summary

Cartman, in an attempt to rid the town of crime in the augmenting crime during such tough times, adopts an alterego superhero identity known as The Coon. He dresses like a racoon, and it’s not entirely clear whether there’s an inappropriate slur being insinuated here. In any case, Cartman wants to spread the word about this new character and tries to draw attention to the Coon however he can, including throwing an unsuccessful event called Coonicon 2009.

All of Cartman’s efforts are for nought, however, because another superhero, Mysterion, has captured everyone’s attention. Pissed that his spotlight is shining on Mysterion, Cartman teams up with Professor Chaos and General Disarray (Butters and Dougie) in order to get rid of his primary competitor. By threatening to blow up a hospital (Cartman’s idea) if Mysterion doesn’t reveal his true identity, Professor Chaos forces a confrontation between himself and Mysterion.

A battle ensues, which the whole town watches, and when it’s over, Cartman convinces Mysterion to unmask himself in order to prevent threats on the public in the future.

They really screw us good by showing us the kid’s face, which, as a South Park face, is totally indistinguishable. Then they make some jokes about stuff we already knew without narrowing the identity down. Cartman, it seems, will remain the town’s superhero.

And then…

This episode nailed a number of things, particularly all of the superhero movies that have come out recently, like Batman, Watchmen and The Spirit.

I also appreciated the knocks against all of the obnoxious people who think that in 2 months Barack Obama should have changed everything. It takes a very long time for the effects of a president’s specific work to be felt in the general public and for people to assume that Obama could have changed anything by now is pure foolishness. Give the man time.

Good episode – pretty silly, and not fixated on some larger issue like many are. Cartman getting pissed off and cursing so much was surprisingly funny.

What did you think of the episode? How do you feel about Season 13 so far?

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Mickey and Disney are Selling Sex to Wholesome Christian Girls Through the Jonas Brothers’ Chastity Rings in the First New Episode of South Park Season 13, “The Ring” (1301)

What a sensational opening to season 13!!! God, I love South Park.

Kenny has a new girlfriend, who is allegedly a slut – a slut totally turned on by the Jonas Brothers. To get a BJ, Kenny take her to the Jonas Brothers (JB is the opposite of BJ) concert, and after the show, just as she’s about to take Kenny into the parking lot and give him what he wants, the Jonas Brothers call her and some other girls from the audience backstage.

The Jonas Brothers then tell them that they want to share their love of Jesus and pitch the idea of purity rings to the girls, convincing them to wear these rings; the rings signify a vow that they won’t engage in sexual activities, listen to swear words or watch naughty television (a dig at South Park). Kenny’s new girlfriend agrees to wear the ring and convinces Kenny to do the same. Unfortunately, chastity rings do nothing but make people boring – and watch Gray’s Anatomy.

Stan, Cartman and Kyle become concerned with how boring Kenny has become and realize that it’s the Jonas Brothers and their chastity ring nonsense that have made their friend so bland. At a public morning talk show where the Jonas Brothers are announcing their huge live, 3D Disney concert spectacular, the boys start yelling about what a sham the rings are. And who stops them? Mickey Mouse(!) who as we’ve already learned, promotes the chastity rings because by talking about how the Jonas Brothers don’t have sex, attention is naturally being drawn to the Jonas Brothers and sex. Thus, millions of good, wholesome, screaming and loving Christian girls are thinking about the Jonas Brothers’ penises simply by virtue of being told that they shouldn’t be thinking about the Jonas Brothers’ penises! This is Disney’s! huge scam to sell sex to little girls – little wholesome, Christian girls.

At the concert spectacular, where Mickey is threatening the boys, believing that they work for Dreamworks and are trying to sabotage him, Mickey begins ranting about how awful the Jonas Brothers are and how he only uses them to sell sex to stupid Christian girls.

The Jonas Brothers say, “a nice Christian symbol can’t be used for profit gains,” and “We’ve angered God.”

Mickey, continuing his rant: “Christians are stupid.”

Unbenownst to him, the microphones has been turned on and the curtain lifted. Everyone hears him and realizes how evil Disney is and how awful it’s machinations are. They boo Mickey, who grows into an angry and large fire-breathing monster – and Disney’s plans are ruined.

This excellent episode, though ostensibly about the Jonas Brothers, is about so much more. It’s about the culture of selling sex to our youth – and Disney isn’t the only guilty party, though this episode excellently exposes its seedy attempts. Cosmo girl is meant to lead young girls right into Cosmo, which holds women to ridiculous beauty standards and offers consistently stupid sexual advice, making women think that the goal of life is to hold onto their men. Selling sex starts younger and younger, and brilliantly, some people have figured out that pretending to sell the opposite makes people think you have honest intentions. However,  emphasizing how you don’t ever do something still makes people think about doing something.

Oh! And Kenny dies! Will he be coming back next episode? I think so. Just because the classic lines are gone doesn’t mean that Kenny can’t die when the story “needs” him to and be resurrected the following episode.

What did you think of this episode? Is this a good start to season 13?

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