Kyle Swims Through a Water Park of “Pee” in the South Park Season 13 Finale

This was the last episode of the 13th season of South Park. That makes me sad. Wednesday nights will be forever emptier because of this. Well, not forever more. They’ll be better again in a few months when South Park is back.

In this episode, the boys go to the local water park, Pi Pi’s, where Kyle opts to stay out of the water indefinitely due to its incredibly high concentration of urine. Cartman, however, is disappointed for other reasons: the water park is filled with minorities.

Black people.

Mexicans.

Chinese.

He thinks he even saw some Native Americans.

This, of course, is less stated than it is sung in a beautiful song. Trey Parker is quite the composer – always has been. Indeed, Cartman predicts that the Mayans got the year of the Apocalypse wrong and that rather then 2012, it’s actually happening in 2009, since the water park has been taken over by minorities and Cartman is the “last of his kind.”

When warned that the pee content of his water park is so high that the park is on the verge of disaster, Pi Pi does nothing – to the detriment of human kind . . . well, human kind currently in attendance at his water park. With the urination of one final little girl, the water becomes 100% pee and disaster ensues. Everything goes to hell – in Cartman’s eyes, the Mayan Apocalypse.

In order to drain the pee from the park, Kyle has to hold his breath and swim through it down to an underwater release valve, but in order to do that he must first drink pee in order to avoid the bends. Since pee grosses him out so much, this is obviously a monumental task. It’s pretty hilarious listening to the other boys be honest about all the things they do related to pee that Kyle considers unacceptable:

– pee in the shower

– pee in the pool

– not wash their hands after peeing

Gross!! I’d never not wash my hands after peeing. Yeah . . . never . . .

Obviously the moment Kyle drank the pee they were all rescued, since is was discovered that the antidote to anger caused by the overexposure to pee is bananas. And yes, the part where the monkeys got angry while getting urinated on was hilarious and disgusting.

Funny enough, I loved that Kyle hated bananas so much and had to eat one after drinking the pee. Why? My wife loves most foods but HATES bananas. She finds them revolting, particularly the smell. Sometimes to be cruel when we’re at the grocery store I’ll hold a bunch of bananas behind her head and then say her name so that she turns around and finds them there. She hates that. I’m very mature.

This wasn’t a killer episode like a few of the other poignant ones this season, but it was amusing, particularly the unbearably racist sentiments that got called out and exposed for being illogical: minorities are beginning to make up the majority. Get used to it. It’s okay and that’s where things were going. We’re all immigrants – thanks White Stripes.

An interesting aside: there was a commercial for Avatar during South Park, which is interesting because last week’s episode made fun of Avatar and showed South Park being really angry that the movie was ripping off something else (I asked what that something else was but nobody knew to tell me).

What’d you think of this episode? Did you like it? What did you think about the 13th season? Which episode was your favorite.

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In South Park Episode 1312 the Boys Launch a Campaign to Change the Word “Fag” to Mean a Loud, Douchebag, Harley Rider

By way of having a real meaning I thought this episode was the king of the season so far.

Harley Davidson bikers are driving around South Park trying to be cool and badass. They’re actually just disrupting everyone’s lovely days by making tons of noise and generally being obnoxious. They boys start calling them fags, and when the bikers don’t stop ruining everything the boys shit on their bike seats and spray paint, “Get Out Fags,” all over town.

This, of course, causes grave concern, first amongst the gay people in town (Mr. Slave and Big Gay Al) and then amongst the school administration and the local government. Everyone is shocked that Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman so freely admit that they’re guilty of being abusive towards gays, and this causes the boys to explain their behavior. They say that the loud and obnoxious bikers are fags. Not gay. Gay people are fine. It’s fags (i.e. bikers) that they hate.

It takes everyone a while to understand the differentiation between the words “fag” and “gay” but eventually a dictionary is actually broken open on the show and the evolving definition of the word is explained. Fag has referred to a variety of different hated groups throughout history, only recently gay people, but it’s meaning continues to change as those addressed by the word become irrelevant or no longer hated. That is, as a group, gay people are no longer fags.

In fact, in order to make this entire situation clear and officially make the new meaning of Fag “annoying Harley Davidson bikers,” the boys ask the keepers of the dictionary to make it a permanent definition.

So incensed are Harley Davidson bikers at the idea of being the new fags that they nearly destroy the entire town fighting about it. That, of course, only makes them faggier. By the end of the episode it is clear that those loud bike-riding douches are the world’s biggest FAGS.

I loved that this episode separated the word fag from the word gay. All too often people use gay as a negative adjective, and that’s terrible. Fag, however, is another story. That word is meant to have a negative connotation, and though it’s still a shame to draw that connotation because of its modern relationship to the word fag, it’s great that someone is making an effort to change the word to something new. Leave it to South Park to instigate social change.

Funniest line from the episode: when the boys are asked what someone who is considering getting a Harley and driving it around loudly is called, Cartman replies, “bike-curious.” Say it fast and you’ll get it. Just a nice pun on the use of fag and gay in this episode.

What’d you think of this most recent episode? What was your favorite part.

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Butters is the Greatest Pimp in the Game on South Park Episode 1309, “Butters’ Bottom Bitch”

When the boys harass Butters for not ever having kissed a girl, Butters ponies up the $5 to kiss Sally, a girl who kisses boys behind the trailers. This rise to manhood makes Butters realize that he needs to start making a living. Upon bringing boys to Sally for $5 kisses and getting a cut, Butters’ enterprise only snowballs from there.

Butters becomes South Park’s newest pimp – and he’s damn good at it. He gets more girls to make more money and eventually he’s rakin’ it in. After attending a pimp convention, Butters learns the lingo, getting straight who his hos and bitches are, and always saying, “Do you know what I am saying?”

“Yes, I know what you are saying. You don’t have to keep asking me.”

As his kissing company grows, Butters starts to get adult prostitutes who want a pimp that respects them and doesn’t beat them – and that’s Butters. With so much money coming in he goes to ACORN and even gets low income housing and medicare for his bitches.

At the end of the episode, Butters is inspired by the true love of a pimp and an undercover cop dressed as a prostitute, which makes him get out of the pimpin’ game, realizing that the money women make – whether for kissing or listening to a man’s mother fu#@in problems – is their money.

This episode was hysterical. The plot was hilarious and ridiculous and there were tons of good ol’ South Park lines that just made you laugh. It was great when Stan threatened Butters for harassing Wendy and when Butters offered Clyde $100 to protect him if Stan came over.

Just a great frickin’ episode. What’d you think? What was your favorite line?

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Cartman Hates Redheads but Becomes One Himself and Tries to Kill the Other Kids in “Ginger Kids” South Park Episode 911

This wasn’t an episode that I saw when it initially came out. For some reason, I didn’t catch it or know that it existed until I got the 9th season of South Park on DVD and watched the last disk. Fortunately, it was a hilarious episode.

Cartman gives the class a racist presentation on the danger of Ginger Kids, including a mention about Daywalkers, like Kyle, who can stand the sun enough to be out during the daytime. Kyle is pissed at this hateful tirade and insists on trying to stop Cartman from making hateful speeches. Why? Because other kids, now scared of gingers, are kicking the redheaded kids out of the lunchroom.

In order to convince Cartman that what he’s doing is wrong, Kyle has Cartman’s hair dyed red and gives him freckles while he’s sleeping, making him believe, when he wakes up, that he’s a ginger kid.

Cartman refuses to see the irony behind the fact that he hates gingers and has become one himself, and instead of recognizing the difficulty of being a ginger and reforming his ways, Cartman begins a Ginger Pride club and gathers together all of the Ginger Kids to convince them that they can no longer accept being oppressed by society. “Red Power! Red Power!” they march and chant. Cartman then begins rounding up all of the non-ginger kids in town in order to kill them in a huge ceremony.

At the last minute, before Kyle is killed, Kyle whispers to Cartman what he’s done, and Cartman stops the insane ritual of non-ginger kid killing to tell everybody to wait – that hate and killing are wrong and that they should all love one another. He gets the rest of the Ginger Kids to disregard whatever Kyle whispered to him and then gets them singing a song about loving everybody.

“You’re such a manipulative asshole,” Kyle says.

Hilarious episode. I especially love the manager of the hotel who comes in the banquet room to make sure they have enough dip and lava and Cartman’s polite impatience. The song at the end is great as is the back and forth between Cartman and the gingers.

What did you think about this episode? What was your favorite part?

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The Queer Eye Guys Popularize Metrosexualism in Episode 708, “South Park Is Gay”

Ah, the Queer Eye For the Straight Guy craze. I remember that. Yeah, I admit it, too: I enjoyed it. Sure, the novelty wore off pretty quickly, and even though South Park made a good point of not letting an obsession with gay culture make straight men forget that they’re men, the residual effects of a show like this, I think, are positive. There are a crapload of men out there who really need to get it together – cut off that rattail, clean up their homes, learn to practice a little personal hygiene, etc. If a team of flaming queers had to come in and wake them up for the purposes of entertainment, so be it, I say.

In any case, this episode of South Park was about the way becoming a metrosexual took over the town, making all of the men and boys of South Park hyper-concerned about their clothes, hair, fashion and hygiene. Kyle, however, can’t get into this new fad. Metrosexualism just isn’t for him.

Indeed, when he comes home beat up one day because the other boys kicked his ass for being different, Mrs. Broflovski immediately concludes that Kyle was tormented for being Jewish. “No,” he tells her. “For not being a metrosexual.”

When Mr. Garrison learns about this awful fad, he and the women of South Park – initially pleased with their husbands shifting priorities but eventually in desperate need of the men back in their lives – march to the president to demand that he put an end to this horrible metrosexual craze and stop the Queer Eye guys. Unfortunately, the Queer Eye guys have gotten to the president first and are making him over. That’s when we uncover the evil Queer Eye plot.

They’re not really homosexuals but Crab People who live beneath the earth’s surface. By turning the men of the world into sissies, they plan to rise to the surface and take over. Fortunately, Mr. Garrison and the women of South Park kill the Queer Eye Crab People, thereby saving us all.

This episode is pretty hilarious all the way through, but I must say I think that it peeks in hilarity with the Crab People song: “Crab People. Crab People. Taste Like Crab. Look Like People. Crab People. Crab People.”

What did you think about this episode? What was your favorite part?

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Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha and the Super Best Friends Defeat David Blaine and His Cult in South Park Episode 504, “Super Best Friends”

Beyond the shadow of a doubt, this is one of my favorite South Park episodes – perhaps my single favorite.

When David Blaine starts forming a cult following of Blainetologists, the boys join up, convinced that they are actually going to magic camp. Concerned at the ridiculousness of it all, Stan defects, though Kyle and Cartman stay. The cult starts seeking tax exempt status from the government, potentially making it a bona fide religion, and when it is denied this status, David Blaine sends his followers to Washington DC to commit mass suicide.

Stan, having gone to Jesus to warn him about this cult danger, is taken by Jesus to the Hall of the Super Best Friends, where he meets a league of religious leaders who believe in fighting for justice and the power of good over evil. The league includes Mohammed, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Krishna, Joseph Smith and Seaman. Stan learns that even though their followers fight and squabble for little or no reason, the leaders themselves are all friends – well, not just friends, but Super Best Friends!

What a fantastic message, unparalleled in the history of South Park message importance.

Working together, the Super Best Friends are eventually able to defeat David Blaine and prevent everyone else from committing suicide.

I’ll refrain from droning on and on about the awesomeness of what this episode is imparting about the legitimacy of world religions or the unhealthy fervency of cults and their often dissembling leaders. I’ll also refrain from droning on about how Blainetology is really meant to represent Scientology and how awful Trey Parker and Matt Stone find that religion. But if you’d like to discuss the matter further, share your own two cents or ask any questions, I’d be delighted to go on.

What did you think about this episode?

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Cartman Atones and Butters is Probed in South Park Episode 906, “The Death of Eric Cartman”

I find this to be a particularly fantastic episode. First, I love the idea of the boys finally ignoring Cartman for doing the ultimate in unthinkable to them: eating all of the skins off of the KFC. Out of all the terrible things he’s done, that was the last straw. And it is as a result of ignoring him that Cartman believes he is actually dead.

Second, I think that Cartman’s approach to his death, as guided by Butters, is amazing. Cartman believes that his soul is stuck on earth because he has yet to do everything he needed to do. Butters informs him that perhaps his soul is stuck because he has to atone for his sins before he can be forgiven and go to heaven, where he will receive $10,000 – cash.

Cartman apologizes to everyone, including Kyle, through Butters. He tells Kyle not to be so hard on himself when Kyle insists that he is Jewish.

By far the most hilarious part of the episode, however, is when Butters is taken for experimental therapy because he can’t stop seeing the ghost of his dead friend, Eric. I won’t describe that therapy here but I will beseech you to watch the episode and laugh hysterically for yourself. And if you don’t find it funny or if I’ve built it up too much for it to be funny, well, whoops.

What did you think about this episode? What was your favorite part?

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