Religion is Like a Penis

I know I haven’t posted in a while, but I couldn’t help myself when my dad passed this along. The Zen of South Park just seemed like the perfect place for it.

The book is almost done. It’s been “sitting in a drawer” for a while, but it wants to come out and be finished. Where does one find the time to finish when life seems to have moved on?

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Stan is Challenged to a Race and the Parents Fend off Time Shares in “Asspen,” South Park Episode 603

An episode all about timeshares and parodying the classic 80s John Kussack movie, Better Off Dead. Who could ask for anything more? Well, me, but this episode is still amusing in a variety of ways. After all, I love Better Off Dead and seeing movies that made John Kussack into the semi-big celebrity that he is today. Plus, they really make that movie seem ridiculous…which it sort of is.

The parents decide to take the children with them to Aspen so that they can learn to ski. After all, it’s free so long as they sit through a brief timeshare presentation. The relentless timeshare presenters, however, won’t let them go without more information and it seems that everyone, right up to the town’s policemen, are in on the gig.

Unfortunately for Stan this trip to Aspen is also less than enjoyable as he somehow gets roped into skiing on a dangerous slope against a top skier – and he doesn’t even know how to ski. He can barely pizza and french fry.

A funnier part of this episode is when Cartman gives Butters The Hitler, a nighttime mustache wiped on his upper lip with a piece of poo. This foreshadows, I believe, the episode in which Cartman does a series of terrible things to Butters in his sleep, ending with a penis in the mouth.

What did you think about this episode?

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Mrs. Garrison’s Sexuality is Changing Again in South Park Episode 1205, “EEK! A Penis!”

Yes, that’s right – on television you can watch a woman who was once a man grow herself a penis on the back of a mouse so that she can have a sex change operation to become a man again – and then make fun of homosexuals. It’s not 1958 anymore my friends!

What a great episode for a lot of reasons, but especially the whole genetically engineering a cock on the back of a mouse one.

In the meantime, while Mrs. Garrison is gallivanting around trying to become a man again, Cartman is put in charge of the classroom because he managed to get the students’ scores up. How? By teaching them how to cheat – an excellent reference to a movie I remember watching in my AP Calculus class in high school, Stand and Deliver. But there was no cheating in that movie.

What did you think about this episode? What was your favorite part?

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Jimmy Puts His Boner in a Hooker to Save His Comedy Act in South Park Episode 907, “Erection Day”

The South Park Elementary Talent Show is on the horizon and in classic Jimmy fashion, Jimmy plans on performing some of his hilarious stand-up comedy. However, he’s begun getting erections at the most inopportune times and has no idea how to curb his trouser-snake’s enthusiasm. In short, he’s terrified of popping wood while doing stand-up in front of the whole school.

Jimmy tries all he can think or and asks advice from his friends, including Butters, who tells him that he has to stick his penis in a girl’s vagina until warm milk comes out in order to get rid of his boner. Brilliant advice!

Jimmy begins by asking girls on dates, taking them to Italian restaurants and then asking them if he can, in effect, stick it in. Eventually he tries a hooker, and when he treats her nice, taking her out because he doesn’t recognize the difference between a hooker and a date, he ends up battling her former pimp for her loyalty. It’s quite a situation.

By the end, does Jimmy get rid of his boner in order to perform his stand-up comedy? I guess you’ll have to watch to find out.

What did you think? What was your favorite part?

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Funny Motivational Poster About Australia, Abraham Lincoln and Bear Calvary

Like to laugh?

Which was your favorite?

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Hilarious Motivational Posters about Stingrays, the War on Drugs and Darth Vader

Huh?

Did you like those? Which was your favorite?

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South Park episode 310, “Chinpokomon,” Teaches of Fads and Japanese Endowments

This episode contains two very important truths. The first is that we shouldn’t do things just because everyone else is doing them. The second is that Japanese people have very small penises compared to Americans.

Kyle and Stan have the following conversation when Kyle is trying to like Chinpokomon like the other boys:

Stan: Kyle, you see, we learned something today. This whole Chinpokomon thing happened because we all followed a group. We only liked Chinpokomon because everyone else did, and look at the damage it caused.
Kyle: So now I should stop liking Chinpokomon because you all don’t?
Stan: Yeah.
Kyle: But if I stop now, I’d just be going with the group again so to be an individual, I have to bomb Pearl Harbor.
Stan: Oh, wait. Actually, Kyle, I was wrong. You see, Kyle, I learned something just now. It is good to go with the group. A group mentality is healthy sometimes.
Kyle: Ah, screw it. I’m too confused.

Not only does South Park mock its own weekly lessons here by equivocating at the cost of national destruction, but it also provides us with a very interesting episode on following fads. And it makes fun of Japanese people’s penises in the meantime.

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