Movie Review: Lakeview Terrace with Samuel L. Jackson is Not As Bad As I’d Have Thought

I expected a pretty horrendous movie when my girlfriend’s little brother came back from Blockbuster with this, the latest of 8 million Samuel L. Jackson movies. Don’t get me wrong. I love Mr. Jackson. He screams and yells and he’s a badass motha fucka, but generally I find that he’s best not as the central focus of a film but as an enhancement and a complement to its general quality. Know what I mean? And I didn’t even think the plot revolved around him so heavily – but it does.

Jackson is an L.A. cop and a single dad to a teenage girl and a younger boy. And he’s a strict single parent. His wife died. He’s sad and misses her – and there’s a twist to her death! In next door moves an interracial couple, and Mr. Jackson doesn’t like one bit that a white guy is with a black girl. And basically he doesn’t treat them so nice. I was surprised at the degree to which the movie fleshed out a generally unexplored racial tension: older black men disapproving of relationships between white men and black women. Who knew!?

The situation devolves into a tit for tat battle of escalating proportions. The thing that gets frustrating is that you’re like, okay! We get it! It’s escalating – bring it to the next level. But it keeps escalating. Again, the movie’s not that bad. The things that happen between the couple next door and Mr. L. Jackson are interesting and sometimes a little twisted. The film even makes you uncomfortable in spots and adds a decent element of suspense. It’s just like, okay, fine, get on with it.

If you’re looking for cheap action and mild engagement then knock yourself out but otherwise, I say veer in the direction of some more classically entertaining Samuel L. Jackson – like say, Pulp Fiction.

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Randy Says the N-Word on National Television in South Park Episode 1101, “With Apologies to Jesse Jackson”

Puzzle: N-_-G-G-E-R-S

Clue: People who annoy you.

Honestly, what did you think when you first saw this episode? I thought “Noggers” – you know, people who constantly knock you on the noggin? I’m sure you did too.

In any case, this episode begins with this hilarious Wheel of Fortune bit and proceeds to a problem arising between Stan and Token, the latter insisting that the incident was, in fact, a big deal and that his friend Stan cannot understand why.

A midget comes to South Park Elementary to talk to the children about how he overcome the odds and became a motivational speaker. Cartman can’t stop laughing at him for his diminutive stature and the little suit they put on him. It’s hilarious watching Cartman laugh at this guy and even more hilarious when Cartman gets to him and in the end they actually wrestle.

Plus, Stan learns a valuable lesson.

What did you think?

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A Review of the Sarah Palin-Joe Biden Vice-Presidential Debate

Last night I watched the entire VP debate, and I’d love to take a moment of your time to tell you a few thoughts I had and hear about anything that you observed.

1. The Moderator

I liked the moderator. Now, Biden and Palin made it easy for her because the arguing was minimal, but I thought her questions were good and she wasn’t afraid to call someone out for not answering the question she asked.

2. Demeanor

Palin was ner-er-vous. She put herself in this situation so I couldn’t feel bad for her, but she seemed downright terrified when the debate began. Her anxiety didn’t seem to diminish drastically over the night, perhaps in contrast to how confident Biden seemed. I don’t know if that made Palin seem endearing or week or Biden competent or patronizing. What did you think?

3. Talking Points v. Points to Talk About

Biden knows his stuff, but of course, this makes sense. He’s been in Congress for decades, and when Palin would bring up a bill that he, Obama or McCain voted one way or another on, he could talk about that bill and the reasons in far more detail than she ever could because he was involved. This was in stark contrast to the Obama-McCain debate when both candidates intimately knew the details of these bills and could – and did! – argue back and forth about what was what. With Biden-Palin, there was little back and forth and I wonder if it’s because she simply didn’t know what to talk about. I don’t mean this as a criticism (that’s left up to how you take her pride about not being of the Washington bunch) but merely as an observation. It seemed that Palin had been seriously prepped with canned lines and points and told to avoid all sorts of other things for fear of a huge mistake. How did you feel?

4. Gaffes

Speaking of huge mistakes, let’s talk about the one thing that all the political pundits really wanted to see – a gaffe. Now, I don’t know that there were any huge gaffes that can’t be undone. Palin did call Joe Biden “O-Biden” and she also told the moderator and Biden that she wasn’t there to answer the questions she was asked but to say what she wanted. Palin also referred to her ticket as a “team of mavericks” which is a bit oximoronic – a fact I think was lost on her. Biden was probably advised to say less than he wanted to because the more active he is the more patronizing he appears. In 90 minutes, though, these were not the big things that came out. Did you notice anything particularly outrageous that slipped by me?

5. Summary

It’s unclear to me what will come out of this. I don’t really want to give you my opinion of the particular political positions as the VP candidates stated them last night – I’d rather discuss the importance of this debate and how the candidates appeared to Americans and the world. However, as an aside, I will mention that I thought it was funny when the moderator established that the two agreed about gay marriage (despite my own disagreement with their mutual opinion). Everyone had a nice chuckle.

Pundits, as they are want to do, said that this debate could be a make-it-or-break-it moment in the political process, but I didn’t notice anything happen that would have been so swaying. I know who appeared more competent, more capable and more knowledgable and I know who appeared more presidential (mentally, not physically or genderally), but I also know that a lot of Americans are looking for something else and appreciate the different image that is being provided for them in this race.

What did you think? I’d love to hear all of your opinions, whether issue-related, debate-related, political or otherwise.

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What Are We Really Voting for This Election Season, Asks “Douche and Turd,” episode 808 of South Park

As we arrive at day 72 on our countdown to vote for the next president of the United States of America, we have to ask ourselves, What are we really voting for?

Some will say “CHANGE!” and some will say, “NOT BLACK PEOPLE!” but no matter what they say we’re presented with two choices that are likely to provide us, the American people, with very comparable outcomes. And this is what “Douche and Turd” is saying.

When South Park Elementary has to vote for a new school mascot, the boys think it will be funny to write in two ridiculous things: a giant douche and a turd sandwich. When there’s a run-off between these idiotic candidates, Stan just can’t figure out what the point of voting is and why he would even bother when the choice is going to be stupid, pointless, unable to be differentiated and nothing you’d want between two pieces of bread.

Now, of course, it must be noted that this episode was written and aired before the Bush v. Kerry election, when the two candidates had a lot more in common and America appeared a lot less in trouble. This election, admittedly, looks a little different.

To pose the more obvious observation of how the two candidates are different, one of them is white – much like John Kerry. Similar to John Kerry as well, one of them has actually served in the United States armed forces. But let’s take a quick peak at the bigger picture and remember that the two aren’t actually so different after all.

They are both members of one of America’s two big parties, the Republicans and the Democrats. Though one would like to convince you that the other spends more money or that they’re more “less-hand-in-government” as a political approach to governing, that’s crap. They’ll both spend a crapload of money; they’ll both interfere in your life in a way previously unprecedented in American history, and they’ll both provide us with rhetoric that is full of shit and excuses on a pretty regular basis. And then you can turn to The Daily Show to laugh at either of them as our country and its glory spin down the drain, only to be documented in 45 years when historians can finally be far enough away to recognize some identifiable patterns.

Gloomy, no? Do I really think it’s going to be that bad? I certainly hope not – but I will say that neither candidate has actually outlined in detail or demonstrated the executable-ness of any programs that will solve any of America’s many major problems. Though I hope this isn’t the downward sloping side of the America-on-top mountain (because I think we have a lot to offer the world by way of collective equality before no one is listening to us again), I do think that when historians look back in time and have to assess, neither candidate so far has differentiated himself enough in his actual planned execution (not just policy rhetoric) so as to make him any different from the other or cause this to be the presidency of change. That’s not to say it won’t be, but just that if we went forward with what’s been outlined so far, we wouldn’t see any tangible results because nothing is really being said.

I hope that come election day we’re voting for something other than a giant douche or a turd sandwich.

What do you think? Who will you be voting for? What did you think of this episode? Do you think it’s applicable to every presidential election or just every one before a black man got in there?

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