Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha and the Super Best Friends Defeat David Blaine and His Cult in South Park Episode 504, “Super Best Friends”

Beyond the shadow of a doubt, this is one of my favorite South Park episodes – perhaps my single favorite.

When David Blaine starts forming a cult following of Blainetologists, the boys join up, convinced that they are actually going to magic camp. Concerned at the ridiculousness of it all, Stan defects, though Kyle and Cartman stay. The cult starts seeking tax exempt status from the government, potentially making it a bona fide religion, and when it is denied this status, David Blaine sends his followers to Washington DC to commit mass suicide.

Stan, having gone to Jesus to warn him about this cult danger, is taken by Jesus to the Hall of the Super Best Friends, where he meets a league of religious leaders who believe in fighting for justice and the power of good over evil. The league includes Mohammed, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Krishna, Joseph Smith and Seaman. Stan learns that even though their followers fight and squabble for little or no reason, the leaders themselves are all friends – well, not just friends, but Super Best Friends!

What a fantastic message, unparalleled in the history of South Park message importance.

Working together, the Super Best Friends are eventually able to defeat David Blaine and prevent everyone else from committing suicide.

I’ll refrain from droning on and on about the awesomeness of what this episode is imparting about the legitimacy of world religions or the unhealthy fervency of cults and their often dissembling leaders. I’ll also refrain from droning on about how Blainetology is really meant to represent Scientology and how awful Trey Parker and Matt Stone find that religion. But if you’d like to discuss the matter further, share your own two cents or ask any questions, I’d be delighted to go on.

What did you think about this episode?

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The French Finally Get Something Right by Allowing a Woman to Sue the Church of Scientology for Fraudulent Practices

No, it’s not often that I like anything done by the French government, but finally, they’ve got something right. Let’s just hope that they can keep it that way.

Currently, in France, Scientology is not on a list of recognized religions and it is considered a commercial enterprise. Indeed, it is. The ‘church’ sells numerous products, makes outrageous and false claims about what they do, and only really cares about money.

After a woman gave the church nearly 20,000 Euros for illegally prescribed drugs, courses, books and counseling with an e-meter (that nonsensical device with no scientific backing), she finally realized (guess she wasn’t that bright to begin with) that the stuff was hocus pocus and is suing Scientology for fraud. Good for her.

Scientologists protest because they insist that they have already been cleared of similar charges. Shouldn’t they take a hint considering how many people are pissed and consider this fraudulent nonsense? Well, they probably have – it’s the people who keep joining Scientology that don’t get it.

In any case, I hope this woman sues successfully and wins, because Scientology is a scam that deserves to be shut down. At least booting it out of France and requiring it to give money to people will be a small start.

What do you think about suing Scientology?

To read about more Scientology in the news click HERE, which will lead you to South Park episodes about Scientology.

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Around the World Pic: Scientology Church in Los Angeles

I went to Los Angeles over Labor Day weekend and had a great time exploring the city (great tour guide), hanging out at the beach (great weather) and visiting Universal Studios (great day).

One thing I noticed, though, as I cruised the streets of L.A. (something many before me have noticed but as this was my first visit I just saw it for myself), was that there were Scientology churches everywhere. You couldn’t escape them. What is it about L.A. that makes it such a bastion for this cultish pseudo-religion? I have some theories that involve personal emptiness, gullibility, the need to remain fashionable, money, etc., but they’re little more than that: theories.

Though I do have a picture with me in the foreground and the primary Scientology headquarters in the background, you really can’t tell what that building is, so I opted to give you this photo instead, which I took right on Hollywood Boulevard.

Have you ever been to this church? To L.A.? Did you notice the Scientology churches everywhere? What’s your theory for why they’re there?

To read about South Park’s Scientology episodes, 912 and 1001, click HERE or HERE, respectively. To read about the Religion in the News day concerning Scietology, click HERE.

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Religion (or cults) in the News: Anonymous Takes on Scientology in Global Protest

South Park hates Scientology. I hate Scientology. As we are told, “It’s a big, fat, global scam.” Scientology is not a religion, despite the insanely shady way that it acquired tax-exempt status. It’s a cult that takes as much money as possible from its adherents. Episodes 912 and 1001 detail these issues and flesh them out in amazing ways; episode 504, Super Best Friends, is also about the fight against Scientology.

Apparently, South Park and I aren’t the only ones that think Scientology is an uncontrollable oozing of bullshit topped with a dollop of evil. An online group known as Anonymous, whose website can be found HERE, has decided to take on the cult with protests and online bashing. They wear masks and dress in costumes and never use their real names.

Normally, I would consider these tactics cowardly. However, considering the tactics of Scientology, which include harassment, reckless endangerment, stalking and other unsavory techniques, I don’t blame the group at all. As they say, if you have no identity then Scientology’s own tactics become useless.

Other opponents of Scientology include defectors of the religion – a rare breed – who now feel increasingly comfortable coming forward with the support of Anonymous and a man named Tommy Gorman, a former Scientologist whose wife was repeatedly raped by an old man in the cult who threatened her life if she came forward. Together, Gorman, his wife and Anonymous (whose tactics don’t always mesh since Gorman prefers Scientology’s more blatant harassment to casual protest) are trying to take down Scientology.

They want members to think about their beliefs and research their organization more thoroughly to learn about its dark past and horrible present. Today just so happens to be a global protest staged by Anonymous against Scientology and though I can’t be there to help, I’d just like to tell them good luck.

Click HERE to read about 912, HERE to read about 1001 and HERE to read about the death of Isaac Hayes, Scientologist and voice of Chef.

Isaac Hayes, Who Voiced the South Park Character, Chef, Dies at Age 65

In 1997, Isaac Hayes become the voice of Chef, the large, sexed-up, black cafeteria chef at South Park Elementary, who was the only adult that Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman could consistently trust. He was wonderful, lovable, and in classic Isaac Hayes fashion, broke into song all the time. No South Park viewer could but love Chef, and appreciate Hayes’ wonderful contribution to this timeless and fantastic show about American culture.

Unfortunately, Chef was not a part of South Park to the end of his life, as his character was killed in the first episode of the tenth season, titled “The Return of Chef” (1001). It was, to be sure, a controversial move, but nothing other than controversy surrounded his departure from the show.

At the end of the 9th season South Park did an episode about Scientology, lambasting the religion thoroughly and making it and some of its celebrity members, namely Tom Cruise, look rather stupid. Isaac Hayes took issues with Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s portrayal of his religion – yes, Hayes was a Scientologist – insisting that they just didn’t understand. Moreover, he told them that it wasn’t right to make fun of his religion that way, though they noted that he had no trouble making fun of nearly everyone else’s religions in other episodes.

Hayes left during the season break and later, Parker and Stone received a letter that he was resigning permanently. Mystery surrounds this letter because it is unclear who wrote it. It is believed that Hayes was in a coma when the letter was sent, suggesting that he had no hand in it at all. Others contend that he was coerced into writing the letter, and of course there is always the possibility that he wrote it himself. If this last option, it is unlikely that he was not goaded by fellow Scientologists to do so.

This situation soured me towards Isaac Hayes because I found his character on the show to be incredibly important – and also quite funny. Nonetheless, what happened happened and in a spectacular episode about Chef’s leaving South Park for a fruity little club (a metaphor for Scientology), the character was killed off and Isaac Hayes never returned to South Park again.

Now, he’s dead for real. I hope that the final 2 years of his life were fulfilling and enjoyable. I’m sorry that he departed from South Park on such an unfortunate note. Perhaps, considering my thoughts, I should try to bear Kyle’s eulogy in mind from Chef’s funeral at the end of the episode:

“We’re all here today because Chef has been such an important part of our lives. A lot of us don’t agree with the choices Chef has made in the past few days. Some of us feel hurt and confused that he seemed to turn his back on us. But we can’t let the events of the last week take away the memories of how much Chef made us smile. I’m gonna remember Chef as the jolly old guy who always broke into song. I’m gonna remember Chef as the guy who gave us advice to live by. So you see, we shouldn’t be mad at Chef for leaving us. We should be mad at that little fruity club for scrambling his brains. And in the end, I know that somewhere out there, there’s the good part of Chef that’s still alive in us all.”

Here’s to you Isaac Hayes.

On a similarly unfortunate note, Bernie Mac has also died at the age of 50.

What was your favorite Chef moment? What will you remember Isaac Hayes for?

To read about the group Anonymous and their global protest against Scientology, click HERE.

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“The Return of Chef” is an Incredible Episode about Scientology’s Evil

Yes, I said it: Scientology is evil. They took poor Isaac Hayes away from South Park and now Chef is gone forever. And this episode tells the grim tale.

The entire time you’re watching this episode and learning about the Super Adventure Club (SAC) bear in mind that the parallels to Scientology and its beliefs are quite accurate. Just watch “Trapped in the Closet” (click HERE for more on that) for more on the parallels.

So, the story, as it goes is more or less that Isaac Hayes, after “Trapped in the Closet,” was unhappy with Trey and Matt’s treatment of his religion – though he never had any problems being a part of them bashing every other religion. Hayes said, You’ve got it all wrong. That’s not how it is.

Apparently, Trey and Matt got a letter notifying them that Hayes was quitting the show but the controversy surrounding it is that it’s not clear whether or not the letter was from him, coerced from him, or written by someone else while he was ailing and unable to write such things. In any case, he finished working for the show and the first episode of the next season was this one, where Chef comes back to South Park brainwashed and interested in having sex with the children. They try to rescue him from the fruity little club he joined but the club, only concerned with more members, turns Chef into a robot (Darth Vader) instead of letting him be his own person.

What I just wrote was not eloquent but do yourself a favor and check out this sensational episode.

What did you think? Are you a Scientologist? Would you like to do an interview on my blog so that you can defend against the allegations made in this episode? Though I’ve been biased I would certainly be fair in conducting an interview and would like to hear what you have to say.

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“Trapped in the Closet,” is South Park’s Big Shot at Scientology

Episode 912 is infamous. In fact, it couldn’t even be aired in the U.K. because of its content. It’s also the episode that resulted in Isaac Hayes, the voice of Chef, quitting the show.

The episode itself lampoons Scientology by knocking its methodology, allegedly scientific basis, and status as a big, fat, global scam. It also lambasts the various celebrities that the so-called religion claims as a foundation for its legitimacy, including Tom Cruise (whose alleged homosexual proclivities give the episode its title and caused him to flip his shit just around the release of Mission Impossible 3 – which for the record was a bad-ass movie), and John Travolta.

I entirely agree with South Park‘s sentiments about this wretched attempt at a religion, and appreciate that Parker and Stone stepped into Scientology’s own line of fire when they made this episode. In The Zen of South Park I compare the show’s portrayal of Mormonism and Scientology in order to show how two religions that are totally invented (and in quite an obvious way) are not evaluated similarly.

Are you a Scientologist? Do I have it all wrong? Would you like to come on my blog and do a guest interview?

What do you think of Scientology? Do you know any Scientologists? Have you ever known anyone who converted to Scientology? Did that person change into someone you don’t know any more?

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