Kyle Swims Through a Water Park of “Pee” in the South Park Season 13 Finale

This was the last episode of the 13th season of South Park. That makes me sad. Wednesday nights will be forever emptier because of this. Well, not forever more. They’ll be better again in a few months when South Park is back.

In this episode, the boys go to the local water park, Pi Pi’s, where Kyle opts to stay out of the water indefinitely due to its incredibly high concentration of urine. Cartman, however, is disappointed for other reasons: the water park is filled with minorities.

Black people.

Mexicans.

Chinese.

He thinks he even saw some Native Americans.

This, of course, is less stated than it is sung in a beautiful song. Trey Parker is quite the composer – always has been. Indeed, Cartman predicts that the Mayans got the year of the Apocalypse wrong and that rather then 2012, it’s actually happening in 2009, since the water park has been taken over by minorities and Cartman is the “last of his kind.”

When warned that the pee content of his water park is so high that the park is on the verge of disaster, Pi Pi does nothing – to the detriment of human kind . . . well, human kind currently in attendance at his water park. With the urination of one final little girl, the water becomes 100% pee and disaster ensues. Everything goes to hell – in Cartman’s eyes, the Mayan Apocalypse.

In order to drain the pee from the park, Kyle has to hold his breath and swim through it down to an underwater release valve, but in order to do that he must first drink pee in order to avoid the bends. Since pee grosses him out so much, this is obviously a monumental task. It’s pretty hilarious listening to the other boys be honest about all the things they do related to pee that Kyle considers unacceptable:

– pee in the shower

– pee in the pool

– not wash their hands after peeing

Gross!! I’d never not wash my hands after peeing. Yeah . . . never . . .

Obviously the moment Kyle drank the pee they were all rescued, since is was discovered that the antidote to anger caused by the overexposure to pee is bananas. And yes, the part where the monkeys got angry while getting urinated on was hilarious and disgusting.

Funny enough, I loved that Kyle hated bananas so much and had to eat one after drinking the pee. Why? My wife loves most foods but HATES bananas. She finds them revolting, particularly the smell. Sometimes to be cruel when we’re at the grocery store I’ll hold a bunch of bananas behind her head and then say her name so that she turns around and finds them there. She hates that. I’m very mature.

This wasn’t a killer episode like a few of the other poignant ones this season, but it was amusing, particularly the unbearably racist sentiments that got called out and exposed for being illogical: minorities are beginning to make up the majority. Get used to it. It’s okay and that’s where things were going. We’re all immigrants – thanks White Stripes.

An interesting aside: there was a commercial for Avatar during South Park, which is interesting because last week’s episode made fun of Avatar and showed South Park being really angry that the movie was ripping off something else (I asked what that something else was but nobody knew to tell me).

What’d you think of this episode? Did you like it? What did you think about the 13th season? Which episode was your favorite.

Get a FREE Bonus Chapter from The Zen of South Park. Check out reviews of other episodes this season.

In South Park Episode 1312 the Boys Launch a Campaign to Change the Word “Fag” to Mean a Loud, Douchebag, Harley Rider

By way of having a real meaning I thought this episode was the king of the season so far.

Harley Davidson bikers are driving around South Park trying to be cool and badass. They’re actually just disrupting everyone’s lovely days by making tons of noise and generally being obnoxious. They boys start calling them fags, and when the bikers don’t stop ruining everything the boys shit on their bike seats and spray paint, “Get Out Fags,” all over town.

This, of course, causes grave concern, first amongst the gay people in town (Mr. Slave and Big Gay Al) and then amongst the school administration and the local government. Everyone is shocked that Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman so freely admit that they’re guilty of being abusive towards gays, and this causes the boys to explain their behavior. They say that the loud and obnoxious bikers are fags. Not gay. Gay people are fine. It’s fags (i.e. bikers) that they hate.

It takes everyone a while to understand the differentiation between the words “fag” and “gay” but eventually a dictionary is actually broken open on the show and the evolving definition of the word is explained. Fag has referred to a variety of different hated groups throughout history, only recently gay people, but it’s meaning continues to change as those addressed by the word become irrelevant or no longer hated. That is, as a group, gay people are no longer fags.

In fact, in order to make this entire situation clear and officially make the new meaning of Fag “annoying Harley Davidson bikers,” the boys ask the keepers of the dictionary to make it a permanent definition.

So incensed are Harley Davidson bikers at the idea of being the new fags that they nearly destroy the entire town fighting about it. That, of course, only makes them faggier. By the end of the episode it is clear that those loud bike-riding douches are the world’s biggest FAGS.

I loved that this episode separated the word fag from the word gay. All too often people use gay as a negative adjective, and that’s terrible. Fag, however, is another story. That word is meant to have a negative connotation, and though it’s still a shame to draw that connotation because of its modern relationship to the word fag, it’s great that someone is making an effort to change the word to something new. Leave it to South Park to instigate social change.

Funniest line from the episode: when the boys are asked what someone who is considering getting a Harley and driving it around loudly is called, Cartman replies, “bike-curious.” Say it fast and you’ll get it. Just a nice pun on the use of fag and gay in this episode.

What’d you think of this most recent episode? What was your favorite part.

Get a FREE Bonus Chapter from The Zen of South Park. Check out reviews of other episodes this season.

Stan Takes over “Whale Wars” and Battles the Japanese in South Park Episode 1311

The Japanese Are Killing Whales!

Where the idea to deal with the issue of whaling came from I’m not sure at all. But hey, it’s South Park. I guess it was the opportunity to paint Captain Paul Watson as a total worthless piece of shit. By the looks of things, he is, but hey, 19 times out of 20 I believe South Park so maybe I’m not the best judge (though I’ve got a feeling…).

So the episode begins with the Japanese massacring whales and dolphins at aquariums all over America, including, I have to mention, the incredible aquarium in my home town, the Georgia Aquarium. And the Japanese killed the Baluga Whales. NOOO! The Japanese hate dolphins so much that they even kill the Miami Dolphins!

Somebody tweeted, “no wildcat offense – damn you Japanese!” That was pretty funny.

What Stan Wants to Do About It

Incensed at the violence against whales, Stan tries to encourage his friends to do something. They’re all playing Rock Band (or Guitar Hero – I can’t tell the difference), and Cartman is singing Poker Face by Lady Gaga. Cartman’s response to Stan’s request is, “I’m not too busy. I just don’t give a shit – AT ALL.”

In order to save the whales from the Japanese, Stan joins the show Whale Wars, a show led by Captain Paul Watson, who South Park makes clear is an enormous and worthless, lying piece of shit. I love it when Matt and Trey go off on somebody through the show and just rip them a new asshole. This episode did an amazing job of that, even showing a real picture of Captain Paul Watson in the process (and a second one with “turd” spraypainted across his face).

Totally annoyed that Paul Watson is a liar with horrible ideas about how to prevent whaling, Stan takes matters into his own hands and blows up the Japanese whaling ship. After the very bloody death of Paul Watson (this episode has an unusually high amount of gratuitous violence, even for South Park), Stan takes over as Captain of Whale Wars, and as his efforts prove increasingly successful and his fame grows, magazines announce many hilarious things, including telling us that Stan “turns vegan pussies into actual pirates.”

On Larry King, Stan realizes that everybody is conflating his success with Whale Wars as being about the show’s rating and not saving the whales. As people say that it’s wrong to skirt the usual process of making a show (i.e. you can’t be a renegade and do things your own way but have to go through producers and scripting and directing, etc.), Stan just goes away to save the whales. I think that was South Park‘s dig at the protective nature of the television industry.

What the Whaling is Really About

After Cartman and Kenny join Stan’s Whale Wars in order to be on his now successful television show, the Japanese start Kamikaze bombing the whales and Stan’s boat. With the Japanese victorious, the boys end up in Japanese prison. Cartman starts playing a harmonica in the fashion of black slave songs and singing about his Japanese-imprisoned balls.

The Japanese president visits the three boys and takes them to Hiroshima and to the museum there. He explains that the Japanese have never recovered from the bombing of Hiroshima. The president then goes on to explain that it was a dolphin and a whale who bombed the Japanese in World War II, something they know because the Americans graciously gave them a picture of the plane that dropped the bomb – it was flown by a whale and a dolphin.

In order to deflect responsibility from the whale and dolphin, Stan provides the Japanese with a new picture that shows a cow and a chicken bombing Japan. As a result, the Japanese then begin viciously murdering cows and chickens.
Stan’s dad says, Good. Now they’re just like us.

Awesome.

Why This is Awesome

The Japanese don’t go whaling to be evil and murder dolphins and whales. They do it because they like to eat them – and they always have. We prefer cows and chickens and treat these animals horribly in order to eat what we like to eat. Though we’re not murdering them in the wild, we’re providing them with excruciating living conditions and a miserable existence.

Why? Because we like to eat them.

The Japanese kills whales in order to eat them, yet we consider whales a special and more sentient creature and get offended at the very idea. It’s our misplaced sense of cultural superiority that tells us that killing the animals we’ve decided to kill and eat is more acceptable than those that another culture prefers.

Some people are so caught up with the idea that we should “save the whales” and that whaling is evil (encapsulated by the show Whale Wars and its captain, Paul Watson), that we rarely stop to be introspective about our own animal-related decisions (and for the record I’m not a vegetarian nor a member of PETA or some other related fanatic). I just think that our sense of priorities can be misplaced. This doesn’t mean I think we should go whaling. I think that we should seek to treat all animals that we choose to eat in an ethical way and make sure that whatever we do to them is sustainable.

Best Episode of the Season

So far, I think this was the best episode of the season (by that I mean this half of the 13th season). It was outrageous, nailed a number of issues, some of which I’d never thoroughly considered (i.e. it made me think), and it brought things to my attention (like Whale Wars) that are totally stupid. At that, it was really funny and quite consistently so, unlike some other episodes whose jokes are farther between due to the need to move the plot and deal with a serious issue.

Get a FREE Bonus Chapter from The Zen of South Park. Check out reviews of other episodes this season.

Butters is the Greatest Pimp in the Game on South Park Episode 1309, “Butters’ Bottom Bitch”

When the boys harass Butters for not ever having kissed a girl, Butters ponies up the $5 to kiss Sally, a girl who kisses boys behind the trailers. This rise to manhood makes Butters realize that he needs to start making a living. Upon bringing boys to Sally for $5 kisses and getting a cut, Butters’ enterprise only snowballs from there.

Butters becomes South Park’s newest pimp – and he’s damn good at it. He gets more girls to make more money and eventually he’s rakin’ it in. After attending a pimp convention, Butters learns the lingo, getting straight who his hos and bitches are, and always saying, “Do you know what I am saying?”

“Yes, I know what you are saying. You don’t have to keep asking me.”

As his kissing company grows, Butters starts to get adult prostitutes who want a pimp that respects them and doesn’t beat them – and that’s Butters. With so much money coming in he goes to ACORN and even gets low income housing and medicare for his bitches.

At the end of the episode, Butters is inspired by the true love of a pimp and an undercover cop dressed as a prostitute, which makes him get out of the pimpin’ game, realizing that the money women make – whether for kissing or listening to a man’s mother fu#@in problems – is their money.

This episode was hysterical. The plot was hilarious and ridiculous and there were tons of good ol’ South Park lines that just made you laugh. It was great when Stan threatened Butters for harassing Wendy and when Butters offered Clyde $100 to protect him if Stan came over.

Just a great frickin’ episode. What’d you think? What was your favorite line?

Get a FREE Bonus Chapter from The Zen of South Park or enjoy posts on specific South Park episodes.

And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter as I’ll be live tweeting all new episodes.

Cartman Hates Redheads but Becomes One Himself and Tries to Kill the Other Kids in “Ginger Kids” South Park Episode 911

This wasn’t an episode that I saw when it initially came out. For some reason, I didn’t catch it or know that it existed until I got the 9th season of South Park on DVD and watched the last disk. Fortunately, it was a hilarious episode.

Cartman gives the class a racist presentation on the danger of Ginger Kids, including a mention about Daywalkers, like Kyle, who can stand the sun enough to be out during the daytime. Kyle is pissed at this hateful tirade and insists on trying to stop Cartman from making hateful speeches. Why? Because other kids, now scared of gingers, are kicking the redheaded kids out of the lunchroom.

In order to convince Cartman that what he’s doing is wrong, Kyle has Cartman’s hair dyed red and gives him freckles while he’s sleeping, making him believe, when he wakes up, that he’s a ginger kid.

Cartman refuses to see the irony behind the fact that he hates gingers and has become one himself, and instead of recognizing the difficulty of being a ginger and reforming his ways, Cartman begins a Ginger Pride club and gathers together all of the Ginger Kids to convince them that they can no longer accept being oppressed by society. “Red Power! Red Power!” they march and chant. Cartman then begins rounding up all of the non-ginger kids in town in order to kill them in a huge ceremony.

At the last minute, before Kyle is killed, Kyle whispers to Cartman what he’s done, and Cartman stops the insane ritual of non-ginger kid killing to tell everybody to wait – that hate and killing are wrong and that they should all love one another. He gets the rest of the Ginger Kids to disregard whatever Kyle whispered to him and then gets them singing a song about loving everybody.

“You’re such a manipulative asshole,” Kyle says.

Hilarious episode. I especially love the manager of the hotel who comes in the banquet room to make sure they have enough dip and lava and Cartman’s polite impatience. The song at the end is great as is the back and forth between Cartman and the gingers.

What did you think about this episode? What was your favorite part?

Get a FREE Bonus Chapter from The Zen of South Park.

Read about other South Park episodes.

Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha and the Super Best Friends Defeat David Blaine and His Cult in South Park Episode 504, “Super Best Friends”

Beyond the shadow of a doubt, this is one of my favorite South Park episodes – perhaps my single favorite.

When David Blaine starts forming a cult following of Blainetologists, the boys join up, convinced that they are actually going to magic camp. Concerned at the ridiculousness of it all, Stan defects, though Kyle and Cartman stay. The cult starts seeking tax exempt status from the government, potentially making it a bona fide religion, and when it is denied this status, David Blaine sends his followers to Washington DC to commit mass suicide.

Stan, having gone to Jesus to warn him about this cult danger, is taken by Jesus to the Hall of the Super Best Friends, where he meets a league of religious leaders who believe in fighting for justice and the power of good over evil. The league includes Mohammed, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Krishna, Joseph Smith and Seaman. Stan learns that even though their followers fight and squabble for little or no reason, the leaders themselves are all friends – well, not just friends, but Super Best Friends!

What a fantastic message, unparalleled in the history of South Park message importance.

Working together, the Super Best Friends are eventually able to defeat David Blaine and prevent everyone else from committing suicide.

I’ll refrain from droning on and on about the awesomeness of what this episode is imparting about the legitimacy of world religions or the unhealthy fervency of cults and their often dissembling leaders. I’ll also refrain from droning on about how Blainetology is really meant to represent Scientology and how awful Trey Parker and Matt Stone find that religion. But if you’d like to discuss the matter further, share your own two cents or ask any questions, I’d be delighted to go on.

What did you think about this episode?

Get a FREE Bonus Chapter from The Zen of South Park.

Read about other South Park episodes.

Cartman and Kyle Argue Over Jew-Gold in South Park Episode 908, “Two Days Before The Day After Tomorrow”

The Day After Tomorrow – blech what a craptastic movie. “Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow” – what an awesome episode.

When Stan and Cartman wreck a dam with a stolen speedboat, thereby flooding a town in a valley below the dam, the entire country freaks out that global warming has caused this flooding and everyone starts panicking. I’ve already explored some of South Park‘s thoughts and skepticism about global warming in my post on episode 1006, “Manbearbig” and in episode 505, “Terrance and Phillip Behind the Blow,” so I will refrain from elaborating in great detail here except for to say that, to whatever degree Trey Parker and Matt Stone appreciate the importance of not obliterating the environment, they don’t wholly subscribe to the terror of global warming.

In any case, despite mocking global warming fanatics, this episode is particularly memorable for a hilarious exchange between Kyle and Cartman when they are trapped in a collapsing and burning building in the flooded town. Cartman refuses to allow Kyle to pass him and move to safety on the roof of the building where a helicopter awaits unless Kyle cedes his Jew-gold. What is Jew-gold, you ask? It is the bag of gold that all Jews carry in a small sack around their necks.

Obviously, Kyle contests the notion that he has such a thing or that it even exists, and what is even more hilarious than the banter between the two is when Kyle finally reveals the Jew-gold and gives it to Cartman. The ridiculousness of this scenario exposes the absurdity of many anti-Semitic beliefs, like that Jews used to use Christian blood to make their matzas, a Middle Ages belief called blood libels.

Mmmmm, matza.

What did you think about this episode? What was your favorite part?

Get a FREE Bonus Chapter from The Zen of South Park.

Read about other South Park episodes.

Randy and Stan Make Alien Contact in South Park Episode 1306, “Pinewood Derby”

For the Pinewood Derby, father-son teams build cars with official Pinewood Derby kits and then race them against each other. Randy, unable to bear Stan’s potential loss, steals an experimental magnetic semi-conductor and cheats by including it in the car to make it heavier on the front end. During the race, Stan’s car bends space and time and travels at warp speed all the way to space. When an alien ship makes contact and says that it wants to meet the people that designed the warp drive, the whole world watches.

Unfortunately it’s a gangster alien that takes the world hostage and forces Randy to build him another warp drive to escape from the alien cops that are chasing him for stealing a bunch of space cash. Oh my!

When the alien cops follow this alien gangster to earth the alien gangster takes Stan hostage and makes Randy lie about him being there. However, when Randy finishes the car and shows the alien, he has Stan shank the alien, killing him and allowing all the countries of earth to take and divide up the stolen space cash. The cops return, but the earthlings deny knowing about the cash so that the cops leave.

After the rest of earth nukes the Fins for threatening to tell on them all, the alien cops return again and the whole world continues denying any knowledge of the money. Stan, however, comes forward, and returns his Pinewood Derby trophy, confessing that he cheated and emphasizing that the longer he lies the more he has to maintain and perpetuate the lie. That doesn’t get the rest of the people to admit how they’re lying to the alien cops, though.

It’s at this point that we learn that these aliens were just testing earth – something they do to every planet after its inhabitants discover warp speed in order to decide if that planet should be admitted to the Intergalactic Federation of Planets. Because the people of earth lied and cheated they are forever banned from this Intergalactic Federation.

That sucks.

What’d you think of this episode? Did you like the message about lying or was it a little bit basic for South Park.

I think it was an interestingly constructed lesson and there were some good chuckles in the episode, but I also think it was the weakest episode of season 13 so far.

Get a FREE Bonus Chapter from The Zen of South Park.

Read about other South Park episodes.

Kyle, as Jesus, Preaches Faith in the Economy and Saves South Park in “Margaritaville,” Episode 1303

We haven’t stopped hearing about the economy ever since it, well, started crapping all over our heads. But for some reason, I’ve only seen two intelligent pieces on the economy. The first was from Jon Stewart on The Daily Show and comes from his extended debate with Jim Cramer (of Fast Money). Indeed, Stewart had Cramer admitting that he had to change the terrible way he’d been treating the public through his ridiculous show. The second is this episode of South Park.

As the economy begins crashing all around us, everyone angrily points fingers at everyone else. The only person people start listening to, however, is Randy Marsh. He preaches an end to spending and a return to constant savings and old ways (sheets for clothes, llamas for transportation, squirrels for toys, etc.). The whole town follows his advice and nobody gets anything at all.

When Cartman blames the Jews for the problems of the economy, Kyle denies his baseless accusations and rebels against this no-spending spree that has overtaken South Park. He becomes a renegade Jew, or as it were, the Jesus of the economy. The economy only exists because we have faith in it, he tells people. It’s not some powerful and vengeful, angry god. This position is much akin to that uttered by the Wise One in episode 1004. Fascinating that this would be the position taken by the Jesus figure of the episode, causing us once again to recognize that South Park‘s thought on the existence of God, inferentially, is that God is most powerful as a human idea rather than an actual divine being.

Randy and his ruling council decide to stop Kyle and his blasphemous preaching and do so with the aid of Cartman (who is Judas in this biblical reenactment). The theological jokes abound, especially when someone on Randy’s council proposes that Kyle could be the only son of the economy. Father Maxi insists that this idea is totally retarded since any omnipotent being could have more than one son. Hmm…

At a Last Supper of pizza with his friend, Kyle vows to do something he always knew he’d have to do in order to restore people’s faith in the economy: he pays off everyone’s debt on his no limit platinum American Express, ultimately sacrificing himself (i.e. his economic future) for the sake of humanity and the economy.

All the while, we’re learning what’s actually going on in the economy as Stan runs from person to person trying to return a Margaritaville blender. Everybody keeps sending him to the institition above that’s now responsible for his return. Eventually he winds up at the Department of the Treasury and learns that the government makes its decisions in a totally random fashion: by sacrificing, as it were, chickens, and then letting them run around with their heads cut off until they land on some point of a grid that determines what action the government should take.

As a blog about South Park and religion, you can imagine that this was an episode that had me squirming with delight the entire time. For me, this will go down as one of the classics.

Get a FREE Bonus Chapter from The Zen of South Park.

Read about other South Park episodes.

Cartman Becomes The Coon in Order to Save South Park in Episode 1302, “Mysterion”

Episode Summary

Cartman, in an attempt to rid the town of crime in the augmenting crime during such tough times, adopts an alterego superhero identity known as The Coon. He dresses like a racoon, and it’s not entirely clear whether there’s an inappropriate slur being insinuated here. In any case, Cartman wants to spread the word about this new character and tries to draw attention to the Coon however he can, including throwing an unsuccessful event called Coonicon 2009.

All of Cartman’s efforts are for nought, however, because another superhero, Mysterion, has captured everyone’s attention. Pissed that his spotlight is shining on Mysterion, Cartman teams up with Professor Chaos and General Disarray (Butters and Dougie) in order to get rid of his primary competitor. By threatening to blow up a hospital (Cartman’s idea) if Mysterion doesn’t reveal his true identity, Professor Chaos forces a confrontation between himself and Mysterion.

A battle ensues, which the whole town watches, and when it’s over, Cartman convinces Mysterion to unmask himself in order to prevent threats on the public in the future.

They really screw us good by showing us the kid’s face, which, as a South Park face, is totally indistinguishable. Then they make some jokes about stuff we already knew without narrowing the identity down. Cartman, it seems, will remain the town’s superhero.

And then…

This episode nailed a number of things, particularly all of the superhero movies that have come out recently, like Batman, Watchmen and The Spirit.

I also appreciated the knocks against all of the obnoxious people who think that in 2 months Barack Obama should have changed everything. It takes a very long time for the effects of a president’s specific work to be felt in the general public and for people to assume that Obama could have changed anything by now is pure foolishness. Give the man time.

Good episode – pretty silly, and not fixated on some larger issue like many are. Cartman getting pissed off and cursing so much was surprisingly funny.

What did you think of the episode? How do you feel about Season 13 so far?

Get a FREE Bonus Chapter from The Zen of South Park.

Read about other South Park episodes.