My Movie Forecast for the Remainder of the Summer

Every Friday I provide a movie review about whatever movie I’ve seen that week. I figure it’s a good time to go ahead and let you know what movies I’ll be seeing for the rest of the summer so you can get excited too. All of these movies will be seen (or so the plan goes) on the Friday they’re released which is the date I’m providing below.

July 25: X-Files and Step-Brothers

August 1: The Mummy III

August 8: Pineapple Express

August 15: Tropic Thunder

August 22: Death Race or The House Bunny (which do you think?)

August 29: Traitor and College and Babylon A.D. (which should I see first?)

Other movies are coming out on these dates but these are the movies that I’ve chosen to see first thing. Are there any others you’d like me to see and review? Are there any you’re really looking forward to? Which will you go see?

After seeing Batman, which has already made well over 66 million dollars and broken box-office records, I must sadly report that I can’t imagine any of these movies will be better. Indeed, The Dark Knight was most assuredly the height of the summer blockbusters, and I only hope to be entertained by what’s left. Click HERE to read my review of The Dark Knight.

Guillermo del Toro’s Hellboy 2: Ron Pearlman is Bigger, Badder and More Entertaining than Ever

I, for one, was totally entertained, and as any of my movie review readers know, that’s pretty much my only requirement when it comes to action-packed summer blockbusters. And Toro’s Hellboy 2 is definitely among them.

Ron Pearlman, whose voice you’ve probably heard in any number of animated super-hero cartoons, is classic Hellboy: rude, arrogant, and ready to f- some s- up. The movie crosses a number of subplots (relationship with Selma Blair’s character, Liz Sherman, introduction of a new paranormal good-guy, Hellboy’s public persona) with the main plot of conquering the evil prince of the Underworld who wishes to raise a long-forgotten army and battle humanity for the rights to live on earth.

I first became aware of Hellboy 2 as a preview when my father and I were going to see the new Indiana Jones movie earlier this summer. Having never seen the first Hellboy movie, my dad said we could rent and watch it together, which we did a bit later. Though he won’t get to see the second one for a few weeks, I certainly owe him a thanks for turning me onto this less than polite comic book made big-screen bad-ass.

The action was consistently good throughout, but it is little compared to the amazing monsters and creatures that appear on screen throughout the film. The plot didn’t have any gaping holes, and thank goodness that the touching lovey-dovey scenes that seemed to pock the first film were kept to a minimum in this one (though there are still a few and even Abe Sapien has a love interest).

There was even a little religious stuff, though less than the first movie. Liz sports a large cross necklace the entire time and Hellboy also has a cross on a chain on his wrist in a few scenes (funny on the biggest Jew in Hollywood – big physically, that is).

All in all Ron Pearlman is great. Selma is a little melodramatic but I suppose that’s the character. I always love Jeffrey Tambor (George on Arrested Development), and a most hilarious addition was seeing Seth MacFarlane’s name in the credits (the creator of Family Guy and American Dad). Yes, that’s right – he provided the voice of Johann Krauss, the same voice he uses for the fish on American Dad.

Good summer fun and a great flick – 8 Chocolate Salty Balls for Hellboy 2. Seven are for the movie and 1 is for the timing.

Have you seen it? What did you think? Better than the first? Buy it now: Hellboy II: The Golden Army.

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Status Report: Jesus Didn’t Murder Me at the Water Park

Despite the challenge I issued to Jesus yesterday, I am still alive. This doesn’t say anything about Jesus’ existence or power of course – only that I didn’t piss him off. I said, Jesus, if I’ve angered you with the inaccuracy of my statements about you, then I’ll be at a water park today and you’ll have your opportunity. Well, I’m happy to report that it was an awesome day at the water park – filled with fun rides, great times and lots of wetness. Eszter and I floated around the river, road every ride in the park and waited in virtually no lines. If I had to say so I’d say that Jesus was pretty pleased about my recent blogging. Thanks big guy!