Cartman Becomes the School Announcer and Rips on Wendy (like she’s Obama) in South Park Episode 1313 – and a lot of Smurfs die in an Avatar Satire

The profundity never ends on South Park – god, I f-in’ LOVE it!

The episode began with the brutal murder of the kid who does the school announcements – a murder we all hear happen over the course of five minutes on the announcements (I know that this probably undermines my opening sentence about the profundity of South Park, but I assure you that this is going somewhere). With his death there’s obviously a need to fill the spot of morning announcer, and so auditions are held. Upon beating out Casey Miller, who describes his voice as “audible chocolate,” by telling Mr. Mackey that Casey described his haircut in an unsavory fashion, Cartman becomes the new morning announcer.

On his first day as said announcer, he adds in quite a bit of impromptu commentary about the way that the school has been suffering as a result of the direction taken under its new leader, Wendy Testeberger. From here forward it’s quite clear that everything Cartman is saying about Wendy is meant to echo the way that some people in the news talk about the United States president, Barack Obama.

Essentially, Cartman drones on continuously about Wendy’s horrible policies and how she’s trying to turn the school into a liberal, socialist, left-wing, communist haven that wants to destroy the Smurfs. Upon writing a book and gaining an increasing amount of support, Cartman is told that he can no longer continue with these senseless ramblings or sell his book on school property. He storms out of school but does his morning announcements by video from abroad. Abroad where? The Smurf Village.

Cartman claims to have gone to live with the smurfs, to learn their ways, to pick Smurf berries and to live a Smurf life; Cartman also says that he fell in love with Smurfette. Tragically, he alleges, Wendy Testeberger came and destroyed the Smurf Village. But why, Wendy, why? In order to take all of the Smurf berries which she will use to power the school.

The allegations about Wendy (including the degree to which she’s a heinous slut) have become pretty extreme, and she’s being blamed for everything wrong at South Park Elementary. Since this is supposed to represent the way that people address Obama, I think lines like “maybe you should look into what student council actually does before you listen to an idiot with a microphone” and “just because a guy’s voice is on the intercom and his words are in a book doesn’t mean you should listen to him” are an amazing dig at the idiots out there with a platform to speak and the morons who believe every word they say.

Does that mean I support Obama and disparage his bashers? Hell no! It means that I agree that we all need to get a grip on the things we consider him responsible for and the degree to which his actions are having certain effects versus that which he has specifically put in motion.

Along the lines of Wendy destroying the Smurfs, I imagined at first that the Smurfs represented the “little people” or “small business” (that Obama is supposedly destroying), but as the episode went on it became clear that South Park is really pissed off about Avatar and the idea of somebody infiltrating a group of fakeass blue creatures by pretending to be one, gaining their trust and then going rogue on his own people who are trying to get an important supply of some power source. My question is, what did James Cameron rip off to make Avatar? I have to know! Please help me if you know the answer.

Back in the episode, Wendy agrees to go on Cartman’s show in order to get him to finally shut up (this after Butters urinates on her house in protest of her policies). Most unexpectedly, she admits to the whole destruction of the Smurfs thing, but only in order to take Cartman down with her by saying that his life amongst the Smurfs was meant to infiltrate and destroy them from the inside. Thus, Cartman is made to look like he destroyed the Smurfs. Wendy resigns from her post and hands the student body presidency over to Cartman. Obviously, the job is boring, thankless and sucky, and Cartman runs away crying after everybody hates him.

In a similar fashion, this is saying that those who bash the president and claim to know “what would definitely work” don’t know shit and couldn’t do any better of a job.

The episode also made a nice jab at Glee at the beginning by way of the rehearsals announcement (Glee‘s an awesome show, by the way).

What was your favorite part of the episode? Can you help me figure out the Avatar thing?

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Mr. Slave Rectally Ingests Paris Hilton in “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset,” South Park Episode 812

Talk about a lesson with a moral – and a disturbing scene.

Unfortunately, our culture reveres despicable pseudo-celebrities like Paris Hilton, and our little girls have begun to emulate her. How do you emulate Paris Hilton? By purchasing the Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset!

Wendy Testeburger is not interested in acting like a stupid spoiled whore and is ostracized by her friends for being a goody-two shoes, despite doing her best, eventually, to become like Paris.

Curiously enough, it is Mr. Slave who has to teach Wendy that she shouldn’t want to be a stupid spoiled whore and that she shouldn’t revere Paris Hilton. In fact, to stop Paris Hilton, Mr. Slave challenges Paris to a whore-off, ultimately winning by landing on Paris so that she winds up in his rectum.


I’d say that the point of this episode is pretty straight-forward and doesn’t require a lot of philosophical speculation on my part. Correct me if I’m wrong and leave your waxings below.

What did you think about this episode? What was your favorite part?

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Cartman Beefs Up to Be on TV with Kathy Lee Gifford in South Park Episode 102, “Weight Gain 4000”

This episode has a new place in my heart because of my obsession with the Fat Acceptance movement and my newfound research on and knowledge of dieting, obesity and being fat. The long and the short of it is that dieting that cycles people between weights is very unhealthy and actually being fat is not. I’m sure to get a lot of hate for making such a claim, due to our culture’s unnecessary hatred of fat people, and though South Park is all about controversy, this South Park related blog is not here to get into that (if you’re interested, start by reading my review of Health at Every Size).

I just want to mention that this episode starts with Cartman getting to go on tv for winning an essay contest and the mayor telling him to slim down because he’s unacceptably fat. Not cool, Ms. Mayor! Cartman, however, takes her advice (sort of) and tries to beef up and get in shape by drinking a bunch of Weight Gain 4000. BEEFCAKE!

Cathy Lee Gifford is coming to South Park to be on tv with Cartman. She travels in a bulletproof pope-mobile like case that has a sign on it reading “God Bless You” (how obnoxious). Mr. Garrison, whose childhood and life were destroyed by Cathy Lee, tries to assassinate her, but of course this case makes it complicated. In attempting to prove that Cartman’s essay is fraudulent, Wendy discovers Mr. Garrison’s plan and enlists Stan to stop him. It’s very Kennedy assassination-esque.

So, I guess I take issue with some characters’ behavior in this episode, but that’s what South Park is all about – stirring up some feelings to get us a-thinkin’.

What did you think? What was your favorite part?

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The Boys Battle Over Bebe’s Budding Breasts in South Park episode 610, “Bebe’s Boobs Destroy Society”

Bebe begins getting breasts and chaos ensues in fourth grade. Suddenly all the boys think she’s cool and they all want to hang out with her. She loves the attention, but it’s making Wendy jealous. All the boys start turning into primitive monkeys and hanging around her house, asking her mother if she can come out to play.

Bebe becomes increasingly dismayed as she realizes that it’s only her early maturation that’s inspiring attention from the boys; she says:

“If I grow up getting everything I want and having things made easy for me because I have hot knockers, then I’m going to grow up to be a lame person. If I’m handed everything in life then my chances of becoming a lawyer or a marine-biologist are zero.”

As the boys start warring amongst themselves for Bebe’s affection and attention they have to learn that sometimes there are more important things in life. Randy tells Stan:

“You can’t let them get in the way of your friends. There are a lot of boobs out there, son. But they’re just boobs; your friends are forever….I know you think this set of boobs is important now, but those boobs will be replaced by another set of boobs. Boobs will come and go, and then, someday you’ll meet a pair of boobs that you want to marry. And those become the boobs that matter the most.”

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New Episode of South Park, “Breast Cancer Show Ever,” is on Tonight!

If you’re looking for the actual review of the episode, click HERE.

When Wendy threatens to beat up Cartman after school, she gets in trouble. Oh no!

Somehow, I’m guessing that there’s more to this episode. Make sure to come back to The Zen of South Park after the episode is over for a review and discussion.

See you later tonight!

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Find Out the Scandal Behind Why Kyle is the Most Untouchable Boy at South Park Elementary in “The List,” Episode 1114

When the fourth grade girls publish a list of the boys  ranked cutest to ugliest, Kyle can’t believe that he’s at the bottom. Stan, in an attempt to allay his fear’s friends that he really is as ugly as the list seems to say, goes to Wendy to ask her what happened and why. Hoping to help her ex and look into the recent blow to Kyle’s self-confidence, Wendy uncovers a scandal amongst the girls that she never imagined.

Yeah, that’s the basic plot. There’s no South Park episode I dislike, but this wouldn’t be the first that I rewatched. It’s got some amusing moments but I thought it was a weak way for the excellent eleventh season to go out. But hey, I love South Park and I’ll be watching it when it comes on. Who knows what I’ll see and laugh at that I didn’t before?

Do you like this episode? What’s your favorite part? Have you ever been the victim of a cruel scandal as Kyle was?

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South Park episode 111, “Tom’s Rhinoplasty,” Shows Lesbian in Leather with Silver Cross

Lots of characters on South Park adorn themselves with crosses. Of course, clergy are obvious examples, like in “Hell on Earth” when the various bishops and priests all have big crosses around their necks – and around the necks of the little naked boys accompanying them are leashes.

Also, the goth kids – think about “Raisins” when Wendy breaks up with Stan – have crosses in their rooms. Similarly is Ms. Ellen, who one day decides to dress in all black leather and has a little silver cross around her neck. And she’s a lesbian.

What do you think the association is between goth and a goth attitude and the symbol of Christianity, the crucifix?

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